IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

the pie charts bleow show the comparisob of different kinds of energy production of france in two years

the pie charts bleow show the comparisob of different kinds of energy production of france in two years
#bleow #show #comparisob #kinds #energy #production #france #two #years
The pie chart elaborates
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 confrontations of
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
types
Change preposition
of types
show examples
 of
energy
production
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 France between 1995 to 2005.
Overall
, the most enormous changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
energy
 output have been
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 petrol sector. In all types of
energy
production
Add a comma
production,
show examples
 there was only minimal change over the
10 year
Add a hyphen
10-year
show examples
 period. First of all, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 gas and coal started below three in ten, but it reached
accurately
Rephrase
apply
show examples
30 % in 2005. The first
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
production
 of petrol approximately was 29 %,
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
 it decreased markedly, fell by 10 % and
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 at below a fifth until 2005.
Secondly
, the output line of other sectors grew since 2005 ,
while
 its number commenced at below 10%, it has been
thrieved
Correct your spelling
thrived
 within a short period of time.
On the other hand
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 nuclear
energy
 was less than ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and the number rose rapidly next years and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
this
energy
production
 was 10.10% in 2005
Submitted by zehrahesenova772 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, production with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: