IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Developing the economy will always damage the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#economy #damage #environment
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It is argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic
growth
Use synonyms
 always leads
detrimental
Change preposition
to detrimental
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effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 on our natural habitat.
While
Linking Words
 it has been generally true for the
last
Linking Words
 two or three centuries, the emergence of sustainable
development
Use synonyms
 has changed the game. The previous
growth
Use synonyms
model
Use synonyms
 involves
relentless
Correct article usage
the relentless
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 exploitation of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural resources. Today's approach,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, facilitates the means and tools to preserve the
Earth
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. From
early
Correct article usage
the early
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 years of the "Industrial Revolution" up to 50 years ago, humans have proudly, and yet naively, consumed natural resources and polluted the
Earth
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. Early engineers and thinkers believed that the planet is so vast that it can easily absorb our polluting leftovers.
Although
Linking Words
 it is true
in
Change preposition
on
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 a small scale, it has shown the opposite for mass
production
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. Humans' activities have polluted clean water resources, air, and the
Use synonyms
Earth
Change noun form
Earth's
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 soil, in exchange for more profit.
For instance
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, the
production
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 of jean trousers consumes thousands of gallons of clean water and produces the same amount of sewage, which is poured back
to
Change preposition
into
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 the flow. So, in the old definition of
development
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, more
production
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 means more deterioration. As humans
got
Verb problem
became
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 aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their actions'
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
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, they changed their
growth
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model
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 into a sustainable one. A sustainable
model
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 facilitates means, protocols, and tools to minimize threats to the environment, and simultaneously
the
Correct article usage
apply
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maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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production
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. Take
textile
Correct article usage
the textile
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 industry as an example. The new methods of producing materials and processes, which consumes much less water and produces much less sewage, are the
engineers
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engineer's
engineers'
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 and scientist
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
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 and contribution to
preserve
Change the verb form
preserving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature.
Although
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 many sustainable processes are harder to implement or more expensive, a growing number of companies are embracing them. So, I believe that as we
are going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 forward in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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history, economic
growth
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 is getting less equivalent to damage to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is essential to understand
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which
model
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 of progress are we discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
. The former
model
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 of
development
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 has constantly exploited and
destructed
Verb problem
destroyed
show examples
 the environment,
while
Linking Words
 the contemporary notion of
development
Use synonyms
 tries to preserve the
Earth
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by farzam.dowlati on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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