IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Developing the economy will always damage the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#economy #damage #environment
It is argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
growth
 always leads
detrimental
Change preposition
to detrimental
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on our natural habitat.
While
 it has been generally true for the
last
 two or three centuries, the emergence of sustainable
development
 has changed the game. The previous
growth
model
 involves
relentless
Correct article usage
the relentless
show examples
 exploitation of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural resources. Today's approach,
on the other hand
, facilitates the means and tools to preserve the
Earth
. From
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 years of the "Industrial Revolution" up to 50 years ago, humans have proudly, and yet naively, consumed natural resources and polluted the
Earth
. Early engineers and thinkers believed that the planet is so vast that it can easily absorb our polluting leftovers.
Although
 it is true
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a small scale, it has shown the opposite for mass
production
. Humans' activities have polluted clean water resources, air, and the
Earth
Change noun form
Earth's
show examples
 soil, in exchange for more profit.
For instance
, the
production
 of jean trousers consumes thousands of gallons of clean water and produces the same amount of sewage, which is poured back
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the flow. So, in the old definition of
development
, more
production
 means more deterioration. As humans
got
Verb problem
became
show examples
 aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their actions'
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
, they changed their
growth
model
 into a sustainable one. A sustainable
model
 facilitates means, protocols, and tools to minimize threats to the environment, and simultaneously
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
production
. Take
textile
Correct article usage
the textile
show examples
 industry as an example. The new methods of producing materials and processes, which consumes much less water and produces much less sewage, are the
engineers
Change noun form
engineer's
engineers'
show examples
 and scientist
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 and contribution to
preserve
Change the verb form
preserving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Although
 many sustainable processes are harder to implement or more expensive, a growing number of companies are embracing them. So, I believe that as we
are going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 forward in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history, economic
growth
 is getting less equivalent to damage to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
To conclude
, it is essential to understand
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which
model
 of progress are we discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
. The former
model
 of
development
 has constantly exploited and
destructed
Verb problem
destroyed
show examples
 the environment,
while
 the contemporary notion of
development
 tries to preserve the
Earth
.
Submitted by farzam.dowlati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: