IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

the movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems? What measuers can be used to solve these problems?

#movement #people #areas #cities #work #places #measuers
Nowadays, many people are migrating from rural areas to enormous
cities
 for better work opportunities.
However
,
this
 causes a lot of problems for both places.
This
 essay discusses those problems and proposes measures to ameliorate the situation. On the one hand, migration of the
mega
Correct your spelling
megacities
show examples
cities
 brings with it many
dilemma
Change to a plural noun
dilemmas
show examples
; utilization of water, clean air and other vital resources
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 dramatically increasing. Using transportation, underground or taxi becomes difficult.
Consequently
, the living standards of the
cities
 are decreasing.
For example
, the site of Baku News shows that the population of Baku has risen twice
last
 three decades and life standards have
also
 fallen to the same extent.
On the other hand
, to solve
such
 issues, the government should put more emphasis on developing agricultural regions. It can commence to open fabrics and companies which are appropriate for the local industry of these territories. Developing the tourism sector in different parts of the country can be effective rural population.
For example
, Kabala
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 one of the most attractive tourist
cities
 in the Caucasus in 2010 and
along with
 tourism, agriculture has
also
 developed,
whereas
 it was an unpopular town for
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 centuries. In conclusion, urbanization can have negative consequences in many cases, but the right policy and developed economy can solve these problems USE SYNONYMS complicationdilemmaquestionobstacletroubledisputeissueheadache It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
Submitted by zehrahesenova772 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: