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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to success in their career, while others argue that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #success #career #job #school
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In today's world, it is important to have a
good paying
Add a hyphen
good-paying
show examples
 job. In order, to land up on a
top end
Add a hyphen
top-end
show examples
 job,
people
 must complete their university or college
degree
 to have a
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
career
.
While
 other
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that, students should start working on their
desire
Replace the word
desired
show examples
 field just after completing
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school
. In
this
 essay, we will be discussing both of the
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
, and in the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will be giving out my personal opinion about the topic. On one side,
Children's
Change noun form
Children
show examples
 must complete their
degree
, because universities
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 broader knowledge for whatever field
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are
persuing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
show examples
, even though it can be comparatively expensive to graduate from
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
.
As most
Correct word choice
Most
show examples
 of the top companies,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
look for experience on your resume, but recruiters most importantly focus on the field of study, so having a college
degree
 is a plus point to land
up on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
something good in your
career
.
While
 on
degree
 courses, college faculty will be giving out
team
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
 and divide the entire classroom into groups to complete the tasks, so
this
team
 working skill will help
people
 to work in
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
show examples
 and co-operate with their co-workers.
Whereas
, starting a
career
 just after
school
 can be beneficial as well
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
school's
Change noun form
schools
show examples
 in
this
 modern society have
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of extra-curriculum activities
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which they teach you to deal with
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
 world. Brain maturity comes at different
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 to different
people
, so starting early can be challenging but most of the kids
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
deal with it and achieve success
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early age.
Their
Replace the word
There
show examples
 are companies in the market
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
hires
Correct subject-verb agreement
hire
show examples
 kids directly from
school
, so by the time they
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have completed their
degree
,
one
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can have
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
show examples
 experience working in the market. In my opinion, children should complete their higher studies in order to get a good
career
, as
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
people
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don't have specific knowledge about how
this
 world
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
. So, having a
degree
 will give
a
Correct pronoun usage
me a
show examples
plus point in
career
Correct pronoun usage
my career
show examples
, and
have
Verb problem
give me
show examples
 a good experience of working with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
team
 with full
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
.
Submitted by ishan1502ishan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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