Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to success in their career, while others argue that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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In today's world, it is important to have a
good paying
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good-paying
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job. In order, to land up on a
top end
Add a hyphen
top-end
show examples
job,
people
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must complete their university or college
degree
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to have a
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
career
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.
While
Linking Words
other
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that, students should start working on their
desire
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desired
show examples
field just after completing
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school
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. In
this
Linking Words
essay, we will be discussing both of the
view
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views
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, and in the
end
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end,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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will be giving out my personal opinion about the topic. On one side,
Children's
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Children
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must complete their
degree
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, because universities
gives
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give
show examples
broader knowledge for whatever field
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are
persuing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
show examples
, even though it can be comparatively expensive to graduate from
universities
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university
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.
As most
Correct word choice
Most
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of the top companies,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
look for experience on your resume, but recruiters most importantly focus on the field of study, so having a college
degree
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is a plus point to land
up on
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apply
show examples
something good in your
career
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.
While
Linking Words
on
degree
Use synonyms
courses, college faculty will be giving out
team
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assignment
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assignments
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and divide the entire classroom into groups to complete the tasks, so
this
Linking Words
team
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working skill will help
people
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to work in
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team
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teams
show examples
and co-operate with their co-workers.
Whereas
Linking Words
, starting a
career
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just after
school
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can be beneficial as well
,
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apply
show examples
because
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school's
Change noun form
schools
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
modern society have
variety
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a variety
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of extra-curriculum activities
in
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apply
show examples
which they teach you to deal with
real
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the real
show examples
world. Brain maturity comes at different
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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to different
people
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, so starting early can be challenging but most of the kids
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
deal with it and achieve success
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
early age.
Their
Replace the word
There
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are companies in the market
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
hires
Correct subject-verb agreement
hire
show examples
kids directly from
school
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, so by the time they
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have completed their
degree
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,
one
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can have
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
show examples
experience working in the market. In my opinion, children should complete their higher studies in order to get a good
career
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, as
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don't have specific knowledge about how
this
Linking Words
world
work
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works
show examples
. So, having a
degree
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will give
a
Correct pronoun usage
me a
show examples
plus point in
Use synonyms
career
Correct pronoun usage
my career
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, and
have
Verb problem
give me
show examples
a good experience of working with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
team
Use synonyms
with full
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
.
Submitted by ishan1502ishan on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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