IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries.

The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries.
#information #predictions #change #percentage #population #three #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table illustrates and predicts the changes in population numbers of individuals aged 65 and older in three
countries
Use synonyms
Canada
Use synonyms
,
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in 1988,
2000
Correct word choice
and 2000
show examples
 and
estimated
Correct article usage
the estimated
show examples
 percentage in 2030.
Overall
Linking Words
, the population in all
countries
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 increased and is predicted to rise. The
countries
Use synonyms
 with the highest and the lowest
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 will remain unchanged. Between 1988 and 2000,
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
Canada
Use synonyms
 had increased the same amount which was 4%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 had only a slight increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their rating which was not close to 1%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000,
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
Canada
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the highest
ranging
Correct your spelling
ranking
show examples
 at 25.32% and 20.67% respectively,
whereas
Linking Words
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 had 14.89 and was the lowest. By 2030, the ranking of the
countries
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 predicted to stay the same,
however
Linking Words
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 is expected to climb at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar percentage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Canada
Use synonyms
 and
Germany
Use synonyms
. The percentage of increase will be at 6% among all the three
countries
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ronica.adriano on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, canada, germany, uk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage change
  • population
  • aged 65 and above
  • information
  • table
  • data
  • trends
  • patterns
  • comparison
  • predicted
  • future
  • findings
  • comment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: