the pie graphs below show the result of survey of children’s activities. The first graphs shows the culture and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate
The pie charts display the findings from the research carried out on how much males and females carry out different leisure and cultural activities.
Overall
,it is evident from the diagrams that while
the boys loved playing computer games the most,the girls were more interested in Dancing.
To begin
with, Boys participated more in Computer games at nearly one fifth
,but just Add a hyphen
one-fifth
a
half of the males Correct article usage
apply
figure
played games.Verb problem
apply
Also
,Dancing was the
major hobby for ladies Correct article usage
a
while
the other gender do
not dance at all but Wrong verb form
did
they prefer
playing basketball which was the second highest activity they did.
Wrong verb form
preferred
Furthermore
,Reading was another usual habit among the ladies at 21%,with just a small number in males at 2% hitting the bottom of the graph.The proportion of basketball and soccer in the boys was greater than that of gymnastics and netball in the girls.
Finally
,There was an equivalent number of both genders who enjoyed listening to music at 10%.Submitted by bumzyakins on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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