IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important thing to consider. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is clearly true that most people when applying for a
job
Use synonyms
 care about the salary. I believe that people should consider money as an essential nuance in their lives. I agree with
this
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 opinion
due to
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 reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
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, finding a well-paid
job
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 is a dream of everyone who wants to have better welfare in the world
while
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 taking living in the capitalist era into account. What is more, a fulfilling
job
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 with a better income has a paramount impact on our lives, which makes us more self-confident to create our environment from studying at university to marriage and so on. To cite an example, a person who either has a family or intends to marry must have an adequate salary to pay for basic needs
such
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 as medical care, education, bills, etc. in Azerbaijan for well-being.
Secondly
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, companies that have a great income can provide a comfortable
job
Use synonyms
 environment, productivity, and a flexible schedule as we want.
This
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 vision is focused on improving skills and knowledge for the long-term rather than the short-term
while
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 providing opportunities to broaden the network and support their employees in every term of their lives.
For example
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, a study conducted by the University of Cincinnati found that most software engineers tend to be recruited by high-level companies considering the circumstances explained above.
To sum up
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, despite the concerns about whether money is an important factor or not, it is undeniable that financial independence is substantial in the 21st century.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include a more developed introduction and conclusion to better frame the essay.
task achievement
Provide more examples and specific details to support your points.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve accuracy.
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