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The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.
#graphs #show #survey #children #activities #first #leisure #boys #second #girls
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The pie charts illustrate, the youngster’s pastime activities based on a survey report.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that male children spend more amount of
time
Use synonyms
 on sports and computer
games
Use synonyms
,
conversely
Linking Words
, female children devote themselves more
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 activities like dancing and reading.
However
Linking Words
, listening to music gets
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
percentile
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
time
Use synonyms
 for both genders. In terms of male juniors’ participation in sports events, noticeably they spend more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of their free
time
Use synonyms
 behind different
games
Use synonyms
 like Basketball, soccer and skateboarding costing 26%, 17% and 11%, of the total share of
time
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 use more than
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 portion of their
time
Use synonyms
 playing computer
games
Use synonyms
. Strikingly, they spend negligible amount of
time
Use synonyms
 on reading.
Conversely
Linking Words
, female
juniors’
Change noun form
juniors
show examples
 use a significant portion of their
time
Use synonyms
 on dancing and reading books with 27% and 21%, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they spend less than a half percentile of
time
Use synonyms
 playing computer
games
Use synonyms
 which is 16% than that of the males.
Submitted by asifiqbal1264 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "conversely".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, games with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • cultural activities
  • leisure activities
  • participate
  • percentage
  • gender difference
  • similar participation rates
  • traditional gender roles
  • trends
  • impact
  • parental influence
  • extracurricular activities
  • accessible
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