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Writing Samples
Band 5

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999.

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999.
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Those 2 graphs reveal information about the number of British tourists and
visitors
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 in 2 decades since 1979 and the rates of favourite countries that
UK
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people
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 to travels in 1999. All in all,
people
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 who went and gone in England increased from 1979 until 1999
while
Linking Words
 France and Spain were the favourite countries of
UK
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 residents.
According to
Linking Words
 the line graph, in 1979 there was a high number of British in other countries around 12
million
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people
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. It was higher than
UK
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visitors
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 with just under 10
million
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people
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. In the next decade,
UK
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travelers
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travellers
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three
Add a missing verb
had three
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 folded numbers
with
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to
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 30
million
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people
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,
while
Linking Words
 tourists in the
UK
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 only doubled
with
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to
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 20
million
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people
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. By 1999, England's
visitors
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 had increased to almost 30 millions of
visitors
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.
UK
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 tourists surged up to over 50
million
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people
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. Moving to the bar chart, in 1999, France was the most favourite destination country among
UK
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 residents with over 10
million
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 travellers. The next most popular country was Spain
by
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with
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 around 9
million
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UK
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visitors
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. Meanwhile,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, Greece, and Turkey were the least famous
country
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countries
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 visited by the British with less than 4
million
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visitors
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, uk, people, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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