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Band 3

The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals?

#spread #areas #deforestation #species #groups #governments #animals
Nowadays plants are almost cut down by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human beings to develop the area where they live
due to
 the cutting of trees many
animals
Change the noun form
animal
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species
 are in danger.To save them
are
Unnecessary verb
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higher authorities have to take major actions regarding the safety of the endangered
species
 by doing
thiswe
Correct your spelling
this we
this
 preserve
the
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apply
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biodiversity and maintain
ecological
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the ecological
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 balance between humans and
animals
. The benefits
to protect
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of protecting
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animals
 are they contribute to ecosystem services
such
 as tourism.if we preserve our endangered
species
 we save some history for
grand kids
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grandkids
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 and we attract
the
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tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 as well.They come here to visit the
animals
 which
raise
Correct subject-verb agreement
raises
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 our economy and we
got
Wrong verb form
get
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benefit
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the benefit
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to preserve
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of preserving
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 the
species
 in
more good
Correct word choice
a better
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 way and for
long
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a long
show examples
 by giving them
good
Add an article
a good
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 environment.
Secondly
, it
raise
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raises
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 education and awareness in
the
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apply
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teenagers
that
Change preposition
about
show examples
 how to protect
the
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apply
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endangered
animals
 and get knowledge about their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, living pattern etc.
Last
 but not least, our authorities should take strict action against the masses who tried to cut the jungles in order to
get
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apply
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make the showrooms,
Correct word choice
and restrauants
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restrauants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
. Government should cancel
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
license s
Correct your spelling
licenses
show examples
 for doing so.
Submitted by rupindergoraya54 on

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task response
Provide a clearer and more comprehensive response to the task prompt. Expand on the benefits of protecting animals and the actions governments can take to protect them.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay by using clear topic sentences and supporting evidence for each main point.
lexical resource
Diversify your vocabulary and use more precise and descriptive words to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid grammatical errors and improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Biodiversity
  • Ecological balance
  • Ecosystem services
  • Genetic diversity
  • Tourism
  • Economic growth
  • Awareness
  • Education
  • Regulations
  • Conservation
  • Initiatives
  • Collaboration
What to do next:
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