The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals?

#spread #areas #deforestation #species #groups #governments #animals

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Nowadays plants are almost cut down by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human beings to develop the area where they live

due to

the cutting of trees many

animals

Change the noun form

animal

show examples

species

are in danger.To save them

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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higher authorities have to take major actions regarding the safety of the endangered

species

by doing

thiswe

Correct your spelling

this we

this

preserve

the

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apply

show examples

biodiversity and maintain

ecological

Add an article

the ecological

show examples

balance between humans and

animals

. The benefits

to protect

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of protecting

show examples

animals

are they contribute to ecosystem services

such

as tourism.if we preserve our endangered

species

we save some history for

grand kids

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grandkids

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and we attract

the

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apply

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tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

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as well.They come here to visit the

animals

which

raise

Correct subject-verb agreement

raises

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our economy and we

got

Wrong verb form

get

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benefit

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the benefit

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to preserve

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of preserving

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the

species

more good

Correct word choice

a better

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way and for

long

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a long

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by giving them

good

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a good

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environment.

Secondly

, it

raise

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raises

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education and awareness in

the

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apply

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teenagers

that

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about

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how to protect

the

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apply

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endangered

animals

and get knowledge about their

behavior

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behaviour

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, living pattern etc.

Last

but not least, our authorities should take strict action against the masses who tried to cut the jungles in order to

get

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make the showrooms,

Correct word choice

and restrauants

show examples

restrauants

Correct your spelling

restaurants

. Government should cancel

there

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their

show examples

license s

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licenses

show examples

for doing so.

Submitted by rupindergoraya54 on Fri Oct 27 2023

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task response

Provide a clearer and more comprehensive response to the task prompt. Expand on the benefits of protecting animals and the actions governments can take to protect them.

coherence cohesion

Improve the organization of your essay by using clear topic sentences and supporting evidence for each main point.

lexical resource

Diversify your vocabulary and use more precise and descriptive words to enhance your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid grammatical errors and improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

184 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Biodiversity
Ecological balance
Ecosystem services
Genetic diversity
Tourism
Economic growth
Awareness
Education
Regulations
Conservation
Initiatives
Collaboration

What to do next:

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The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Increased world demand of oil and gases cause the taking up of search operations of fuel in remote or even untouched natural places. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage of damaging those places?

In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?