Some people feel that entertainer (e.g film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

The significance of jobs, which was always debatable,has now become more contentious, some individuals believe that career advancement is important
while
others think is no problem for any work.
This
trend's significant influence has sparked debate about its potential impact in recent years.In my opinion, the former proposition is more logical.
This
essay will elaborate on my arguments for both points of view. The first and most important reason is that a person who has a great job may have a better salary . To explain that , when the worker has worked in a famous company he gets a high salary .
For example
, my brother works in STC they paid 5000 SR per pre-month even though they have two days off .
In addition
, Another noteworthy advantage getting experience , especially for teenagers . To illustrate research and studies show that 80% of some adults need to work part-time before graduation .
For instance
, I worked for around two months in some brands called Qusaa ,
however
, they got me some money for
this
effort
Submitted by mhmdkhlwd98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction to provide a clear direction for the essay.
main point development
Your main points need to be supported with relevant examples or evidence to make your argument convincing.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally logical, but some sentences could be revised for clarity and coherence.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary choices are adequate, but try to vary your word choice and use more precise and nuanced language.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay. Review grammar rules and revise your sentences for accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: