Some people feel that entertainer (e.g film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainer #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

The significance of jobs, which was always debatable,has now become more contentious, some individuals believe that career advancement is important

while

others think is no problem for any work.

This

trend's significant influence has sparked debate about its potential impact in recent years.In my opinion, the former proposition is more logical.

This

essay will elaborate on my arguments for both points of view. The first and most important reason is that a person who has a great job may have a better salary . To explain that , when the worker has worked in a famous company he gets a high salary .

For example

, my brother works in STC they paid 5000 SR per pre-month even though they have two days off .

In addition

, Another noteworthy advantage getting experience , especially for teenagers . To illustrate research and studies show that 80% of some adults need to work part-time before graduation .

For instance

, I worked for around two months in some brands called Qusaa ,

however

, they got me some money for

this

effort

Submitted by mhmdkhlwd98 on Fri Oct 27 2023

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introduction

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction to provide a clear direction for the essay.

main point development

Your main points need to be supported with relevant examples or evidence to make your argument convincing.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of your essay is generally logical, but some sentences could be revised for clarity and coherence.

lexical resource

Your vocabulary choices are adequate, but try to vary your word choice and use more precise and nuanced language.

grammatical range

There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay. Review grammar rules and revise your sentences for accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

177 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entertainer (e.g film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, private cars are now banned from certain city centres. What are the advantages of such a system and do you feel that this is something that most cities should adopt?

Today many people spend less and less time in their homes. What are the reasons and what are the effects of this trend on individuals and society?

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

Many elderly people are no longer after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?