IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The diagram shows a method of shaping glass containers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The diagram shows a method of shaping glass containers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
#method #glass #containers #summarise #information #features #comparisons #minutes
The scheme illustrates the process of the production of
glass
 containers.
Overall
, the nine main steps are followed during the process from starting with heating the pre-products to the
seperation
Correct your spelling
separation
 phase. First and foremost, precursor
glass
 surplus
melted
Add a missing verb
is melted
show examples
 in a big oven called
furnace
Correct article usage
a furnace
show examples
 at 105
celcius
Change the capitalization
Celcius
show examples
. After the meltdown
completed
Add a missing verb
is completed
show examples
, the hot
glass
pressed
Add a missing verb
is pressed
show examples
 by
a special machinery
Remove the article
special machinery
a piece of special machinery
show examples
 in a mould. Conducting an appropriate pressure by press machine,
this
 process gives the special shape
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
container's
Correct article usage
the container's
show examples
 thick wall. Eventually, a pressed
glass
container
confronted
Add a missing verb
was confronted
show examples
 with air for a
while
. After
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough air conduction,
container
Correct article usage
the container
show examples
 met with
kiln
Correct article usage
a kiln
show examples
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
 482
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
; meanwhile, extreme heat alters the structure of the
glass
container
. After exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 high degrees,
cooling
Correct article usage
the cooling
show examples
 phase is started in the kiln
about
Change preposition
for about
show examples
 60 minutes at 25 degrees.
Thefore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
 have to check every single
glass
containers
Fix the agreement mistake
container
show examples
 before packaging.
As a result
,
malfactured
Correct your spelling
manufactured
 products
Add a missing verb
are seperated
show examples
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 by labours to recycle,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 properly manufactured
glass
 containers are packaged for distribution.
Submitted by historicalpen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words glass, container with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: