IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, introduce yourself explain the situation say what action you would like the company to take

#phone #purchase #company #representative #week #situation #action
Dear
sir
Capitalize word
Sir
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 or
madam
Capitalize word
Madam
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, I am writing
you
Change preposition
to you
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 to express my strong dissatisfaction with a new iPhone mobile
phone
 which I purchased two weeks ago from your main company.
Actually
Add a comma
Actually,
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 I am currently studying
mobilography
Correct your spelling
biography
. My teacher said that I should have the latest model
phone
 so that I can make a lot of
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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 and videos effectively.
For
this
 reason, I
decide
Wrong verb form
have decided
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 to purchase the best
phone
 from your company as I heard that your quality is very good. Unfortunately, I was very disappointed after discovering that the product
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 defective
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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one
. The issue with the
phone
 is that I am unable to start it even after the
phone
 is fully charged. And
also
 what made me sad is that your saleswoman assured me to buy
this
one
 because it is the best and latest model. I feel
myself
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
deceived and in my opinion, it is disrespectful to customers. Despite my communication with
one
 of your representatives a week ago , nothing
have
Change the verb form
has
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 been done yet and I
seriously
Add a missing verb
am seriously
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 angry. As a solution and because I really need
to
Change preposition
apply
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this
phone
 , I am hoping that you will agree to replace it with a new
one
 immediately or I must ask you to refund the full cost price of
this
 product. And under the circumstances, I feel that an apology should be offered.
Then
 I look forward to your that you will pay attention to
my
Change the word
the
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 points that I have raised very carefully within
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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two days,
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
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 I will be forced to connect with the Bureau of Customer Protection. Yours faithfully, Durdona
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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task response
Make sure to address all the points mentioned in the prompt, including introducing yourself and explaining the situation fully.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more coherently by using paragraphs to separate each main point.
lexical resource
Vary your vocabulary and consider using more formal language to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and aim for more complex sentence constructions to improve your grammatical range.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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