You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, introduce yourself explain the situation say what action you would like the company to take

#phone #purchase #company #representative #week #situation #action

Dear

sir

Capitalize word

Sir

show examples

madam

Capitalize word

Madam

show examples

, I am writing

you

Change preposition

to you

show examples

to express my strong dissatisfaction with a new iPhone mobile

phone

which I purchased two weeks ago from your main company.

Actually

Add a comma

Actually,

show examples

I am currently studying

mobilography

Correct your spelling

biography

. My teacher said that I should have the latest model

phone

so that I can make a lot of

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

and videos effectively.

For

this

reason, I

decide

Wrong verb form

have decided

show examples

to purchase the best

phone

from your company as I heard that your quality is very good. Unfortunately, I was very disappointed after discovering that the product

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

defective

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

one

. The issue with the

phone

is that I am unable to start it even after the

phone

is fully charged. And

also

what made me sad is that your saleswoman assured me to buy

this

one

because it is the best and latest model. I feel

myself

Remove the pronoun

apply

show examples

deceived and in my opinion, it is disrespectful to customers. Despite my communication with

one

of your representatives a week ago , nothing

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been done yet and I

seriously

Add a missing verb

am seriously

show examples

angry. As a solution and because I really need

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

phone

, I am hoping that you will agree to replace it with a new

one

immediately or I must ask you to refund the full cost price of

this

product. And under the circumstances, I feel that an apology should be offered.

Then

I look forward to your that you will pay attention to

Change the word

the

show examples

points that I have raised very carefully within

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

two days,

otherwise

Add a comma

otherwise,

show examples

I will be forced to connect with the Bureau of Customer Protection. Yours faithfully, Durdona

Submitted by ina1_95 on Sat Oct 28 2023

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task response

Make sure to address all the points mentioned in the prompt, including introducing yourself and explaining the situation fully.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas more coherently by using paragraphs to separate each main point.

lexical resource

Vary your vocabulary and consider using more formal language to enhance your lexical resource.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structure and aim for more complex sentence constructions to improve your grammatical range.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

264 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Word Count

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