The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the poplulation age 65 and above in three countries.

#information #predictions #change #percentage #poplulation #age #three #countries

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This

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table depicts the changes in the proportion of

the

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residents aged 65 and over in the major countries

Canada

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, the

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, and

Germany

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in the period of ( 1988, 2000, and 2030) . It's clear from the graph that, the percentage of the population consistently increased throughout the year.

Moreover

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Germany

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had the highest percentage of the population aged 65 and above, followed by

Canada

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, and

then

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the

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residents.

According to

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what is shown, in 1988, the percentage of

Germany

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's people accounted for the highest number at 29 per cent .

While

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the aged ratio of Canadian and British people had recorded around 16% and 14 % respectively.

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, in the year 2000 ,

Canada

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showed a slight increase in the figure for the aged rate from 16% to 21%.

Moreover

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, the lowest rate was accounted for in the

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at 15 per cent in 2000.

However

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Germany

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illustrated a consistent rise of around a quarter. Moving to the end of the period, people aged 65 and over accounted for 20 % in The

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, 26 % in

Canada

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, and 30 % in

Germany

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respectively.

To sum up

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Germany

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ranked the top of the population aged among the three countries,

secondly

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Canada

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and Britain ranked the lowest.

Submitted by du.sg16 on Sat Oct 28 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, uk, germany with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

210 words

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The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the poplulation age 65 and above in three countries.

Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs ( for example, working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to the younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually empahise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. [545]

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and wether they are married or single some people say that this information may be relavant and useful.Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your openion.