The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the poplulation age 65 and above in three countries.
This
table depicts the changes in the proportion of the
residents aged 65 and over in the major countries Correct article usage
apply
Canada
, the UK
, and Germany
in the period of ( 1988, 2000, and 2030) . It's clear from the graph that, the percentage of the population consistently increased throughout the year. Moreover
, Germany
had the highest percentage of the population aged 65 and above, followed by Canada
, and then
the UK
residents.
According to
what is shown, in 1988, the percentage of Germany
's people accounted for the highest number at 29 per cent . While
the aged ratio of Canadian and British people had recorded around 16% and 14 % respectively. Furthermore
, in the year 2000 , Canada
showed a slight increase in the figure for the aged rate from 16% to 21%.
Moreover
, the lowest rate was accounted for in the UK
at 15 per cent in 2000. However
, Germany
illustrated a consistent rise of around a quarter. Moving to the end of the period, people aged 65 and over accounted for 20 % in The UK
, 26 % in Canada
, and 30 % in Germany
respectively.
To sum up
, Germany
ranked the top of the population aged among the three countries, secondly
, Canada
and Britain ranked the lowest.Submitted by du.sg16 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, uk, germany with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼