The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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There is
a
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an
show examples
assortment of evidence that the authorities should finance
on
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apply
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civil
services
Use synonyms
rather than in arts industries,
show
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showing
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businesses as they affect on wastage of budget. I strictly agree with
this
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fact and
i
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I
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will discuss
about
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apply
show examples
my viewpoints in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
paragraphs.
To begin
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with, nowadays, one of the most common factors why many folks during
the
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apply
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sudden emergency occasions, are not able to get first
aids
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aid
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from public
services
Use synonyms
, is the deficit of local healthcare
faclities
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facilities
or ambulance cars. There is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sudden increase in
death
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the death
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rate
due to
Linking Words
the issues above. Administrations have to take on their responsibility and have to fund huge
amount
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amounts
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of resources
on
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for
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public works. Regarding arts, yes,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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individuals
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of individuals
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enjoy watching and listening some movies, shows,
stand ups
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stand-ups
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and
musics
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music
kinds of music
pieces of music
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, but their careers
are
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also depend
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also
Linking Words
depend
from
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on
show examples
civil
services
Use synonyms
because any work they do requires health, safety and energy.
For example
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,in 1990,
when
Rephrase
apply
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soviet comedian Artur Zakaryan, during his performance in Moscow suddenly lost
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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consciousness, and immediate first aid from doctors
were
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was
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given,
consequently
Linking Words
they saved his life.
Moreover
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, It is common knowledge that
Correct article usage
the show
show examples
show
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shows
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industry is
well paid
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well-paid
show examples
branch, as they get paid well from pay-per-views, advertisements and other extra marketing
services
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.
To sum up
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,
i
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I
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totally
Add a missing verb
am totally
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keen on investing
on
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in
show examples
public
services
Use synonyms
, as
i
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I
show examples
think that
show
Correct article usage
the show
show examples
industry has enough
of
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apply
show examples
resources to feed themselves and organise their events and concerts. We have to always remember, that we live comfy by dint of doctors, local
governs
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governments
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and
securities
Fix the agreement mistake
security
show examples
.
Submitted by kozhantaevisa on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly state your position on the topic.
task achievement
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lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to improve your grammatical range.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social cohesion
  • tangible benefits
  • economic growth
  • national identity
  • mental health
  • long-term cultural and emotional well-being
  • proportional allocation
  • economic development
  • diverse voices
  • immediate societal needs
  • non-monetary benefits
  • well-rounded society
  • stimulate local economies
  • boost tourism
What to do next:
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