Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations

Nowadays power,

wealthvand

Correct your spelling

wealth and

money are

notdivided

Correct your spelling

not divided

equally among people. Because, Some laid-back individuals claim that we should be convinced of our possessions and professional

statuse

Correct your spelling

status

while

some ambitious believe that by doing our best and working hard as much as possible we will have a more wealthy and pleasurable

life

Also

, I think so and in

this

essay, I will delve into these two attitudes. On one hand, we can see that lenient populations are disinclined to put themselves under pressure in order to make progress in their

life

or profession. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

these people are neither determined nor risk

taker

Fix the agreement mistake

takers

show examples

. Taking my friend as an example, she is working in

company

Add an article

a company

the company

show examples

and

receive

Correct subject-verb agreement

receives

show examples

a minimum amount of salary. she always admits that if she starts her own

bussines

Correct your spelling

business

, she

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

go strength for strength. Possibly, they want to replace

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

ground convenient

Add a hyphen

ground-convenient

show examples

life

Change preposition

with

show examples

difficulties and excruciating efforts.

As a result

, these groups of people would be just consumers of hard workers' successes and

acheivements

Correct your spelling

achievements

On the other hand

, many ambitious are unconvinced of what they have and

consequently

try assiduously to improve their lives day by day. To illustrate

this

, Professor Majid Samii, who is one of the most famous neurosurgeons and medical scientists explained in his biography that ten years of relentless efforts,which

accompanied

Add a missing verb

were accompanied

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

financial

hinders

Replace the word

hindrances

show examples

brought him to

this

appreciable situation.

Thus

, it can be concluded that individuals would experience more

converient

Correct your spelling

convenient

and

peacefull

Correct your spelling

peaceful

lifestyles if they plan and put a considerable amount of attempts

Change preposition

into

show examples

fulfilling dreams. In conclusion, since

life

is usually accompanied

with

Change preposition

show examples

unpredicted

challenge

Fix the agreement mistake

challenges

show examples

, learning to confront

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them to solve them seems more logical

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than withdrawing from them.

Submitted by golriiz23 on Sat Oct 28 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences that relate to the main point. Use appropriate transition words and phrases to clearly connect ideas throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main ideas of the essay. This will help to provide a well-rounded and complete response to the prompt.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary by using more varied and precise words. Additionally, pay attention to word choice and ensure that your sentences flow smoothly.

grammatical range

Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

adversity
resilience
stoicism
contentment
cope
adapt
endure
persevere
settle
ambition
tenacious
determined
resourceful
optimistic
self-improvement
proactive
initiative
transform
overcome
confront

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Every day, tension around climate change continues to rise. Some argue that developed countries should take responsibility to tackle climate change, while others think it is a common responsibility of all countries. In this essay I will discuss both views and give my own opinion by supporting the idea that all countries have equal responsibilities to combat climate change.
6
band
Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.
A group of the population believe that the education system should choose their own pupils by considering their abilities and talents in academic fields, while others consider it is more beneficial to have a variety of students together in the classrooms. I believe it is not appropriate to categorize students and also all the students have to have equal chances of studying.
6
band
Prevention is better than, cure reaserching and treating desease is too costly so it would be better to invest in prevention measures. To what extent do you agree?
Some people feel that the expenditure on cure investigations is considerably high and prevention is a better option to save from diseases. In this essay, I will discuss whether I agree with this statement. Firstly, I will explore how some diseases caused the death of thousands of people in human history. Secondly, I will consider how research will benefit humanity in terms of illnesses.
5
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Animal experimentation has been debated for a long time. While some argue that testing on animals is unjust and should be restricted, many believe that without the small sacrifice of animals, humanity would not be able to progress. In my view, animal experimentation can be justified in certain cases, but alternative methods should be used whenever they are available and effective.
4.5
band
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make their decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
In general, people have different outlook on how they would raise their children. Some consider that encouraging youngster to achieve their own wishes may lead to selfishness, while others think that it is vital for them to start making their own personal decisions. While I acknowledge that supporting minors to follow their own wishes may lead to greediness, I would argue that helping children build up their confidence with the choices they make would help build up their confidence in the future.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

Prevention is better than, cure reaserching and treating desease is too costly so it would be better to invest in prevention measures. To what extent do you agree?