Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. So, sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Nowadays, sugary
food
has
been
Verb problem
become
show examples
popular because it has some demand in the market.
Food
and beverages, which include large
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of
sugar
are produced by many
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
but they promote many
diseases
, so there is an argument that sugary products should be
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
expensive to reduce
people
's buying. I agree with
this
statement and
this
essay will discuss reasons for that view.
Frstly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
although
unhealthy
food's
Change noun form
food
show examples
price
is rocketed, some
people
consume
that products
Change the determiner
that product
those products
show examples
, because they have
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of awareness about
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
of
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
involvement in the body.
For instance
, there
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
drink named Srinke
concludes
Verb problem
that contains
show examples
80% of
sugar
and its selling cost was increased as
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
announcement
Replace the word
announced
show examples
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
society still has been consuming
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
significantly. One consumer said that he
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
addicted after
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that drink and
does
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
not know
complications
Correct article usage
the complications
show examples
after drinking more
sugar
, after educating him, he terminated
buying
Change preposition
from buying
show examples
carbonated-sugary drinks.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, authorities should educate
people
about
sugar
-combined
diseases
,
itke
Correct your spelling
like
diabetes, heart
diseases
and obesity, with concern about unit
price
,
then
costermers
Correct your spelling
customers
avoid consuming processed
food
successfully.
Secondly
,if sugary
food
is cheap,
people
will select that
items
Fix the agreement mistake
item
show examples
among other healthy
production
Replace the word
products
show examples
.
In addition
,
people
compair
Correct your spelling
compare
the
price
of goods rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
its quality and quantity. So, they refuse
choosing
Change the verb form
to choose
show examples
expensive products because of select other alternatives. Another way, they are prone to consume healthy
food
as
fress
Correct your spelling
fresh
, unprocessed
food
is relatively low cost. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
, fresh
vegitables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
and fruits could be
low budget
Add a hyphen
low-budget
show examples
. One example is after
soared
Wrong verb form
soaring
show examples
Coca Cola
price
,
people
did not select it day drink or
fuctions
Correct your spelling
functions
and
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of that's buyers
would buy
Wrong verb form
bought
show examples
fruits and make juice as an alternative
dink
Correct your spelling
drink
show examples
.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
they were avoided from health risk and promoted good habits which irradicate more non-communicable
diseases
in the future.
According to
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
I agree with making expensive
sugar
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
show examples
because it leads to more benefits. In conclusion,
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
of reporting
food associated
Add a hyphen
food-associated
show examples
diseases
has been growing for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
decades, which would diminish
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its market
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
.
High
Change the article
A high
The high
show examples
number of
people
are
signicantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
sensitive regarding
price
variations of
food
, so high cost motivates
people
to consume low
sugary
Correct your spelling
low-sugar
show examples
diet.
Submitted by thiqut on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that relate to the main argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a stronger introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position and summarize your main points.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation to improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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