Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. So, sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Nowadays, sugary
food
has been
popular because it has some demand in the market. Verb problem
become
Food
and beverages, which include large amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
sugar
are produced by many manufactures
but they promote many Correct your spelling
manufacturers
diseases
, so there is an argument that sugary products should be high
expensive to reduce Replace the word
highly
people
's buying. I agree with this
statement and this
essay will discuss reasons for that view.
Frstly
, Correct your spelling
Firstly
although
unhealthy food's
Change noun form
food
price
is rocketed, some people
consume that products
, because they have Change the determiner
that product
those products
lack
of awareness about Correct article usage
a lack
effects
of Correct article usage
the effects
suger
involvement in the body. Correct your spelling
sugar
For instance
, there a
drink named Srinke Add a missing verb
is a
concludes
80% of Verb problem
that contains
sugar
and its selling cost was increased as Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
announcement
, Replace the word
announced
however
society still has been consuming Add a comma
however,
its
significantly. One consumer said that he Correct pronoun usage
it
has
addicted after Verb problem
was
to
that drink andChange preposition
apply
does
not know Wrong verb form
did
complications
after drinking more Correct article usage
the complications
sugar
, after educating him, he terminated buying
carbonated-sugary drinks. Change preposition
from buying
Morover
, authorities should educate Correct your spelling
Moreover
people
about sugar
-combined diseases
, itke
diabetes, heart Correct your spelling
like
diseases
and obesity, with concern about unit price
, then
costermers
avoid consuming processed Correct your spelling
customers
food
successfully.
Secondly
,if sugary food
is cheap, people
will select that items
among other healthy Fix the agreement mistake
item
production
. Replace the word
products
In addition
, people
compair
the Correct your spelling
compare
price
of goods rather that
its quality and quantity. So, they refuse Correct word choice
than
choosing
expensive products because of select other alternatives. Another way, they are prone to consume healthy Change the verb form
to choose
food
as fress
, unprocessed Correct your spelling
fresh
food
is relatively low cost. For examples
, fresh Fix the agreement mistake
example
vegitables
and fruits could be Correct your spelling
vegetables
low budget
. One example is after Add a hyphen
low-budget
soared
Coca Cola Wrong verb form
soaring
price
, people
did not select it day drink or fuctions
and Correct your spelling
functions
majority
of that's buyers Add an article
the majority
a majority
would buy
fruits and make juice as an alternative Wrong verb form
bought
dink
. Correct your spelling
drink
Finally
they were avoided from health risk and promoted good habits which irradicate more non-communicable Add a comma
Finally,
diseases
in the future. According to
that
I agree with making expensive Add a comma
that,
sugar
productions
because it leads to more benefits.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
production
rate
of reporting Correct article usage
the rate
food associated
Add a hyphen
food-associated
diseases
has been growing for few
decades, which would diminish Correct article usage
a few
with
its market Change preposition
apply
values
. Fix the agreement mistake
value
High
number of Change the article
A high
The high
people
are signicantly
sensitive regarding Correct your spelling
significantly
price
variations of food
, so high cost motivates people
to consume low sugary
diet.Correct your spelling
low-sugar
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a stronger introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position and summarize your main points.
Lexical Resource
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Grammatical Range
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Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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