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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #information #features #comparisons
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The given pie charts depict the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in six areas across the globe.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they shed
lights
Fix the agreement mistake
light
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the geographical variation
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the use of
water
Use synonyms
 in that period of time. Interestingly,
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 consumption pattern was observed among Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia, with around 80% of the
water
Use synonyms
goes
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 into agricultural activities
,
Correct word choice
and, remaining
show examples
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 20%
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 for industrial and domestic purposes. Meanwhile, the farming exercises in South
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
also
Linking Words
 extracted most of their
water
Use synonyms
 resources (70%), the proportion is slightly less than that of the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 three countries.
Contrararily
Correct your spelling
Contrarily
, North American and European manufacturers contribute to the majority of the
water
Use synonyms
 consumption, both account for around half of the
overall
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
 use. At the same time, farmlands and
hosueholds
Correct your spelling
households
household
water
Use synonyms
 utilization rank after industrial application respectively. In conclusion, the distribution
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 usage indirectly showcases the economic development in different regions. In short, less developed countries carry out more economic activities in agriculture
while
Linking Words
 the more developed countries engage more heavily in industrial operations.
Submitted by ardentpicks on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • charts
  • percentage
  • water usage
  • agriculture
  • industrial use
  • domestic consumption
  • energy production
  • recreation
  • regions
  • sectors
  • overall
  • accounts for
  • ranging from
  • relatively low
  • in contrast
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • relevant
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