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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The
three
Use synonyms
given
Verb problem
apply
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pie charts provide information on
Use synonyms
amount
Add an article
the amount
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 of
three
Use synonyms
 types
ingredients
Change preposition
of ingredients
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 in
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of
meals
Use synonyms
 (breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack) in America.
Overall
Linking Words
, Americans’ dinner
meals
Use synonyms
 always contain more
sodium
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, saturated fat, and
sugar
Use synonyms
 compared to their snacks, lunch, and breakfast
Use synonyms
menu
Fix the agreement mistake
menus
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the total
amount
Use synonyms
 of those
three
Use synonyms
 kinds of
nutriens
Correct your spelling
nutrients
 in dinner
meals
Use synonyms
 is 78% which are 43% of
sodium
Use synonyms
, 37% of saturated fat, and 23% of
sugar
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, followed by snack containing 77%; 14% of
sodium
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, 21% of saturated fat, and 42%
sugar
Use synonyms
 which is the most
amount
Use synonyms
 of nutrient among
other typical
Change the wording
another typical menu
other typical menus
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menu
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
the percentages of additives
of
Change preposition
on
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lunch
Correct article usage
the lunch
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menu
Use synonyms
 tend to
equal
Add a missing verb
be equal
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 which include 29% of
sodium
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, 26% of saturated fat, and 19% of
sugar
Use synonyms
, 74% in total. In terms of the smallest
amount
Use synonyms
 of the
three
Use synonyms
 types of
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
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ingredients in
meals
Use synonyms
,
breakfast
Add an article
the breakfast
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menu
Use synonyms
 has 14%
of
Change preposition
apply
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sodium
Use synonyms
, which is
same
Correct article usage
the same
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to
Change preposition
as
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 snack
meals
Use synonyms
, 16%
of
Change preposition
apply
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saturated fat, and 16%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
, which only
contain
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
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 46% in total.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words three, amount, meals, sodium, sugar, menu with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average percentages
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • meal
  • typical meals
  • categories
  • high percentage
  • distribution
  • patterns
  • trends
  • nutrient-dense
  • data
  • comparison
  • summarize
  • reporting main features
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