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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some educators believe that every child should be thought how to play musical instruments. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#educators #child #instruments
There is no denying the fact that
engaged
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
musical
instruments
 in schools.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that
children
 should be
thought
Verb problem
taught
show examples
 how to use different types of musical
instruments
, there is
also
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that it is
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 thing to teach
children
 musical
instruments
.
To begin
 with, learning the sciences and engineering will be better for
children
.
In other words
, these fields are countries' future and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be made by their hands.
In addition
, sciences will help them
expanding
Wrong verb form
expand
show examples
 their knowledge and
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 their soft skills ,
such
 as creativity, critical thinking, and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
.
For example
, there are many countries like Saudi Arabia , and Qatar
Correct pronoun usage
that tend
show examples
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to alter their
education's
Change noun form
education
show examples
 plans by developing and updating
education's
Change noun form
education
show examples
 subjects. Another point to consider,
children
 do not have
Correct article usage
an interesting
show examples
interesting
Replace the word
interest
show examples
 in musical
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
. It is
also
 possible to say that they always prefer staying in
comfortable
Add an article
a comfortable
show examples
 place
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
 in
noisy
Correct article usage
a noisy
show examples
 one.
Moreover
, some families do not allow
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
children
learning
Change the verb form
to learn
show examples
 or
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 with musical
instruments
.
For instance
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Arabic countries do not listen to songs and do not care about
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 because of
religous
Correct your spelling
religious
 reasons. In conclusion,
despit
Correct your spelling
despite
 people having different views. I believe that the governments should invest in
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 system , since it is a crucial sector and
having abilities
Wrong verb form
has the ability
show examples
 to build
success
Replace the word
a successful
show examples
 future.
Also
, they should increase awareness about the importance of
educational's
Change noun form
educational
show examples
 subjects.
Submitted by fatemah221027 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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