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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004.

The line graph below shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004.
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The line graph describes the utilisation of four types of
meat
Use synonyms
 in European
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 from 1979 to 2004.The given measurement
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
grams
Use synonyms
 per person per week. In the
begin
Replace the word
beginning
show examples
,the use of fish
meat
Use synonyms
 in 1979 started
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 60
grams
Use synonyms
 per person per week and it was
minimal
Add an article
a minimal
the minimal
show examples
 decline in 1984
moreover
Linking Words
,it
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
show examples
along
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all
period
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1984 to 2004.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the lamb
meat
Use synonyms
 above the fish
meat
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 150
grams
Use synonyms
 and it
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 during the all
period
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
,the
meat
Use synonyms
 of chicken
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 at 140
grams
Use synonyms
 but it was during the fluctuation it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
went up
all
Change preposition
for all
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of meats
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 250
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2004 in the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the
meat
Use synonyms
 of beef at 220
grams
Use synonyms
 higher was all
meat
Use synonyms
 and it was decreased in 2004 at 100
grams
Use synonyms
 per person per week.All types of
meat
Use synonyms
 in foreign nations fluctuated
along
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
period
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words meat, grams, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • meat
  • increase
  • decrease
  • popularity
  • steady
  • stable
  • significant
  • period
  • type
  • contrast
  • decline
  • greatest
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