The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Answer this task in 150 words at least.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Answer this task in 150 words at least.
The diagram demonstrates the
percentage
of both male and female Australian citizens, who exercised regularly in 2010. From an
overall
perspective, young
men
(between 15 and 24 years old) are the most
age
group to exercise among all males.
On the other hand
, older women (an average of 50 years) play sports more consistently than younger ones. Observing the details, the
percentage
of males keeps fluctuating all over the
age
groups. In fact,
men
start exercising regularly at a young
age
, but
then
in older
age
groups,
this
percentage
decreases till it reaches 45.1% after it was 52.8% in the beginning. Surprisingly, when
men
are 65 and over, they do sports more often.
That is
why we can see that the number starts to rise again to 46.7%. Women are completely the opposite; the
percentage
of those who exercise is the smallest for both these
age
groups: (15 to 24) and (65 and over).
In other words
, females start with a low
percentage
- 47.7%.
Then
,
this
number keeps climbing steadily until it reaches a peak of 53.3%, followed by a mild decline to 47.1% in the final
age
group. In conclusion, the chart stresses an important point, which is simply that
men
's behaviour is opposite to that of women.
Submitted by menagouda24 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, men, age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age groups
  • Percentage
  • Gender comparison
  • Leisure time
  • Health awareness
  • Bar chart
  • Work-life balance
  • Life stages
  • Engagement
  • Motivation
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Public health policy
  • Fitness programs
  • Data analysis
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