One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies for young people in some countries. It is undeniable that having a little bit of leisure time has become an essential part of our life.
One
of the widely discussed issues nowadays is young people
Change noun form
people's
study
. It is undeniable that Replace the word
studies
study
has become an essential part of our life. In this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will look at some causes, that Change the capitalization
I
effected
young Correct your spelling
affected
people
's study
, Fix the agreement mistake
studies
examine
factors responsible for Correct word choice
and examine
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
Change preposition
of
study
.
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
One
of the main causes of the program of school
studies that
is not comfortable and exciting for young Add a missing verb
is that
people
. Some of subjects
they think are not necessary Add an article
the subjects
their
life, but take more time to Change preposition
for their
make
Verb problem
do
homeworks
. it is Correct your spelling
homework
one
of the result
of young Change to a plural noun
results
people
are
under a lot of pressure to work hard. The second cause that might be noted, in my view is Wrong verb form
being
parents
. Nowadays parents
strongly
Add a missing verb
are strongly
concern
Replace the word
concerned
their
Change preposition
about their
children
development, Change noun form
children's
therefore
they haul children
from another Correct pronoun usage
their children
study
to another, meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
don ask
their Wrong verb form
asking
children
option
.Students who are studying in Fix the agreement mistake
options
school
, another main reason for them in my opinion
is to give more homework, after studying hard in school
they should spend another 3-4 hours studying subjects
than
relaxing and spending time with their loved ones
The first reason mentioned above made it necessary to leave the core Rephrase
rather than
subjects
in school
and give students the least amount of homework. Our government should solve this
problem by asking the opinion
of young people
. In my opinion
, this
would be a good decision for them. Also
, all subjects
should be divided into categories taking into account the abilities of children
. All this
provoked and contributed to the children
’s desire to learn without pressure. Another problem is that parents
should not force their children
to teach. To do this
, we should make a presentation for parents
and posters in public places with various topics to reduce the influence of parents
on their children
and
Correct word choice
so
parents
understand their mistakes and draw conclusions from them. children
made
some decisions in their lives on their own. Wrong verb form
make
One
of the consequences of this
is that we prepare children
with determination and confidence for the future.
Having weighed everything mentioned up
, we can come to Change preposition
apply
a
conclusion that we should ask always Correct article usage
the
children
Change noun form
children's
opinion
before Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
to do
something. So it would not be surprising to seeChange the verb form
doing
Change noun form
children's
children
life
without pressure Replace the word
live
some
in Correct quantifier usage
apply
he
near future. Correct your spelling
the
In other words
, more free time to
Change preposition
for
children
might not happen and we should be ready to bear all the consequences of that. I hope we and our government would
decide Wrong verb form
will
this
dilemma in the near future.Change preposition
on this
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coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow by organizing the essay into clearly defined paragraphs, each addressing a specific point. Consider separating causes and solutions into distinct sections for clarity.
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Develop ideas more comprehensively by providing more specific examples and details to support each point. This will strengthen your argument and improve overall task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Make sure transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth to enhance readability. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is crucial for a well-structured essay.
task achievement
Provides a solid discussion about the pressures young people face in their studies and thoughtful consideration of possible solutions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.