Improvementa in health, 3ducation and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nowadays,
people
are concerned about their future, which improves human resources development by the government
. The poor problem in the slum area will be clear with the collaboration and coordination of government
roles and indicators such
as health
, education
, and trade
. I completely agree with this
statement for several reasons, which will be given in this
essay.
The health
indicator is a crucial variable that will affect the poor condition
. The health
investment in healthcare is expensive, which means people
should stay on the health
track. For example
, people
who diagnose
Wrong verb form
are diagnosed
diabetes
mellitus type 2 need to have a budget to buy the insulin hormone to control their blood glucose. Change preposition
with diabetes
Thus
, the government
should manage the health
of people
by applying a balanced diet, physical exercise, and stress management.
Education
are the
important Correct article usage
an
tools
that Fix the agreement mistake
tool
people
will get the
higher income which wich will prevent Correct article usage
a
the
poor Correct article usage
apply
condition
. In fact, the government
should regulate the
Correct article usage
apply
education
free
for special Correct word choice
apply
condition
, Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
such
as the
poor Correct article usage
apply
family
. Fix the agreement mistake
families
The mandatory
Correct article usage
Mandatory
school
need to Fix the agreement mistake
schools
regulation that
Wrong verb form
regulate
education
for every people
. So, the regulation Fix the agreement mistake
person
on
Change preposition
of
education
rule
which make Fix the agreement mistake
rules
people
success
in the future.
Replace the word
successful
Trade
is a common improvement in the economic area. The government
should facilitate the people
's investment in this
area, which will meet their needs and convenience. So, with easy access to trade
, something that people
need will improve the economy. For instance
, social media are tools to sell the shirt with
Change preposition
at
the
cheaper price Correct article usage
a
which
the Correct word choice
and
comparion
Correct your spelling
comparison
price
with the store are Fix the agreement mistake
prices
diiferent
because the online store Correct your spelling
different
don
need the rent the store. Both online and Wrong verb form
doesn't
offstore
that have a limitation of the product.
In conclusion, the Correct your spelling
offline
government
should manage health
, education
, and trade
to improve their economic status and tackle the poor condition
. So, the regulation by Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
needs support from all the stakeholder Correct your spelling
government
their
related to Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
problem.Submitted by nazhif27 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Expand upon the main points and provide more detailed examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly introduces the topic and the conclusion summarizes your main points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay. Also, pay attention to word choice and precision.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar, including the correct use of tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence variety.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.