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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The following graph represents the unemployment stages in Ireland
,
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 and the number of
people
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 migrating to another country between 1988 and 2008. As a whole, the unemployment rates were dramatically high in the decades between 1988 to 2000, and
it
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they
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 fell drastically in 2000.
People
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 leaving has seen some fluctuations
,
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 and got to its peak in 1990. In 1988, the unemployment
rate
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 was about 18
percent
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per cent
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,
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 and fell sharply to 13
percent
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per cent
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 in the next 2
years
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. Again, in 1990 we witnessed a rise, and it reached the same percentage as in 1988.
Then
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, the
rate
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 of joblessness dropped gradually over the
years
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, till it reached
to
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its lowest
rate
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 in 2000. The trend stayed the same in the following
years
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, and surprisingly in 2008, the situation got worse drastically. Moving on to the citizens leaving the country, about 30,000
people
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 departed from their homeland, and in the next two
years
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, the number of
people
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,
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 climbed sharply and reached more than 60,000
people
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. In the next
years
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, the trend became backward and fewer
people
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 tended to leave.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, between the
years
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 1990 to 2008, the number was slightly more than 20,000. Again in 2008,
this
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rate
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 rose dramatically to 40,000
people
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, rate, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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