IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#unemployment #levels #ireland #people #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The following graph represents the unemployment stages in Ireland
,
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 and the number of
people
 migrating to another country between 1988 and 2008. As a whole, the unemployment rates were dramatically high in the decades between 1988 to 2000, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 fell drastically in 2000.
People
 leaving has seen some fluctuations
,
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 and got to its peak in 1990. In 1988, the unemployment
rate
 was about 18
percent
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per cent
show examples
,
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 and fell sharply to 13
percent
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per cent
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 in the next 2
years
. Again, in 1990 we witnessed a rise, and it reached the same percentage as in 1988.
Then
, the
rate
 of joblessness dropped gradually over the
years
, till it reached
to
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apply
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its lowest
rate
 in 2000. The trend stayed the same in the following
years
, and surprisingly in 2008, the situation got worse drastically. Moving on to the citizens leaving the country, about 30,000
people
 departed from their homeland, and in the next two
years
, the number of
people
,
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 climbed sharply and reached more than 60,000
people
. In the next
years
, the trend became backward and fewer
people
 tended to leave.
According to
 the data, between the
years
 1990 to 2008, the number was slightly more than 20,000. Again in 2008,
this
rate
 rose dramatically to 40,000
people
.
Submitted by mehrasa.elahian on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, rate, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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