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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#production #consumer #goods #results #damage #environment
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The growth in the manufacture of consumer goods leads to in destruction
to
Change preposition
of
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 the natural
environment
Use synonyms
. My essay will outline a number of reasons for
this
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 trend and a number of its associated solutions.
To begin
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 with, the increase in
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 of consumer products
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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harm
Correct subject-verb agreement
harms
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
. When more goods are produced, more waste and toxic emissions are released from factories into nature. Water sources are polluted and
air
Add an article
the air
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 is seriously polluted, leading to
harmful
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harm
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 to humans and the death of many marine and terrestrial animals.
For example
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, in Vietnam, when the Vinh Tan thermal power plant increased its electricity production, it caused extremely serious environmental pollution, affecting surrounding people, and columns of black smoke were continuously released.
Therefore
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, leading to serious air pollution for surrounding people. Meanwhile,
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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 production of wares will consume a lot of
materials
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.
For instance
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, in a rural area of ​​China, a large number of trees are cut down in the forest to put into factories to produce house construction
materials
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 and tools.
Consequently
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,
This
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 directly affects the ecological balance and habitat of many animal species.
However
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, there are some possible solutions that can solve
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, companies should promote the use of more environmentally friendly
materials
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.
For example
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, coffee giant Starbucks recently replaced plastic straws with reusable alternatives made from
materials
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such
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 as paper or bamboo.
Secondly
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, regulators need to enforce strict regulations on the consumer goods industry.
For example
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, they can impose heavy fines on these manufacturing companies for littering or polluting the local
environment
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, which can protect the local
environment
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 from being polluted by irresponsible
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. of these companies. In conclusion,
although
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this
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 trend has a negative impact on the
environment
Use synonyms
, there are still some possible solutions to solve
this
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 problem.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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task response
Provide a more detailed analysis of the causes and solutions related to the increase in production of consumer goods and its impact on the natural environment.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using appropriate transition words and phrases.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases to express ideas more accurately and precisely.
grammatical range
Use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate control of grammar and sentence formation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • production
  • consumer goods
  • natural environment
  • damage
  • causes
  • overconsumption
  • demand
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • natural resources
  • industrial pollution
  • waste
  • inadequate
  • waste management practices
  • public awareness
  • education
  • sustainable alternatives
  • stricter environmental laws
  • recycling
  • responsible consumption
  • clean technologies
  • renewable energy
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