Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion?

#people #children #geography #school #subjects #life

In our society in terms of education, it is quite obvious that the content of the subjects is not related to the current one,

therefore

, most of the students and guidances attempt to stimulate the government to reform the education organization to be more efficient. In my opinion, I opine that

this

should be reformed. On one hand,

this

generation desires to study a subject that can be adapted to global trends because individuals have to catch up with the present,

hence

, they can survive in

this

society.

Moreover

, it will be hard for the teachers to educate if the students opine that some of the content of the subjects is not linked with their desire,

therefore

, the government should reform to be more relevant to life.

On the other hand

, the most appropriate solution is for learning in high school should be updated, linked with the children's desire or changed to be the same as the university one because individuals want to study the subject that they are interested in learning.

For instance

, my dream is to be an architect so I want to choose the subject that relates to architecture.

Furthermore

, the content

that is

considered

out-dated

Correct your spelling

outdated

show examples

should be removed by the officials because some of them are the trend

Change preposition

from

show examples

20 years ago,

therefore

, the student will find it hard to understand

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

To conclude

, nowadays, the global trend is rapidly changing,

therefore

, we should not be fixed with the old culture.

This

issue has to cooperate with every organization to come up with an alternative way and the best solution together to make our children's desires become a reality.

Submitted by amittawin on Wed Nov 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument. Use topic sentences and linking words to create a logical structure throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise words to express your ideas.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve overall clarity and coherence of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Government should put taxes on unhealthy food so that people eat healthy foods more. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, governments encourage businesses to move outside of the cities to solve the problems of housing and transport in the cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?