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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The map below is of town of Garldson, a new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below is of town of Garldson, a new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
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 is a map of Garldson and the possible locations of the supermarket (S) after construction.
Overall
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,
while
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 a railway will pass through the centre of the town where S2 will be situated, S1 will be in the countryside , Northwest of Garldson and in between major roads leading to Hindon to the North and Cransdin to the South . There would
also
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 be a railway line behind S1. As for S1, it is expected to be situated away from residential areas in the countryside and with easier accessibility , if a train is taken from
this
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 spot it would cross through S2 and connect to Cransdon which has a population of 29,000.
On the other hand
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, S2 will lie in the town centre where traffic is not a problem and it would be surrounded by many houses
as well as
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 industries to the North and South of it.
Submitted by annodunowo on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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