today the high sale of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not real needs of the socity in witch they are sold. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, reflecting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
can
be
Verb problem
result in
show examples
high sales of popular consumer goods in some
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
.
this
Linking Words
means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
power
Correct article usage
the power
show examples
of advertisement can encourage some individuals to buy some items that are not
nessecety
Correct your spelling
necessary
. First of all, advertising is often for
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
and services that we do not really need.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
recent days there are lots of
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisements
on television and other social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
. people who are eager to buy items that are gorgeous and they do not pay attention to their needs.
for instance
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
of paying attention to
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the product
show examples
product
Add a comma
product,
show examples
they try to buy some goods witch are
have good
Correct word choice
good-looking
show examples
looking
Verb problem
apply
show examples
although
Linking Words
they do not really need the
product
Use synonyms
.as
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it
Add a comma
it,
show examples
they
encourage
Wrong verb form
are encouraged
show examples
to buy some
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
that are not
neccesery
Correct your spelling
necessary
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,the ultimate aim of advertising is to subtly persuade people to
by
Correct your spelling
buy
show examples
things. In
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
decade
tcnologi
Correct your spelling
the technology
of advertising has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
siginificant
Correct your spelling
significantly
changed
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
on social media.
in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
advertiser
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisers
show examples
try to use these technologies to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
Use synonyms
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
purches
Correct your spelling
products
for instance
Linking Words
,
making
Change preposition
by making
show examples
pictures or
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
are great
way
Use synonyms
.
to conclude
Linking Words
the ultimate goal of
avdertiment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
can be sale more
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
.
Although
Linking Words
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertising
advertisements
is a good
way
Use synonyms
to tempt
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it can be
effective
Add an article
an effective
show examples
way
Use synonyms
to buy items,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
if
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
do not have enough time to shop around they can rely on advertising to learn about
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. But
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
is not
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
most of the time. By the
way
Use synonyms
of conclusion, advertisement
cab
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
be power full on
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
mind to buy unnecessary products
also
Linking Words
it should be avoided
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of the time
for buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
effactivly
Correct your spelling
effectively
effective
.
Submitted by mr.ghasemi1377 on

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task response
Your essay touches on the main points of the topic, but it lacks depth and thorough analysis. It would be beneficial to provide more specific examples and broader perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas is disrupted. Ensure that the relationship between sentences and paragraphs is smooth and coherent.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is sufficient, but there is room for improvement. Try to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout your essay. Review your use of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure to avoid these mistakes.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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