Write about the following topic. An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

There is no doubt that
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
too much of people
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
cosmetic
surgery
in order to improve their appearance, The question is:
are
Verb problem
does
show examples
cosmetic
surgery
have problems ? In
this
essay, I am going to discuss my view and draw my personal conclusion. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of advantages, Societal pressure and media influence. The main reason given to support
this
claim is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
If I have a fun face a lot of people will
laughing
Wrong verb form
laugh
show examples
at me. to illustrate
, Desire
Correct your spelling
the desire
for self-confidence and improved self-esteem,
Also
, Correcting physical defects or defects.
However
disadvantages
Societal
Change preposition
of Societal
show examples
pressure ,
Firstly
Negative psychological impacts and unrealistic expectations,
in other words
, effects cosmetic
surgery
in
fature
Correct your spelling
future
feature
on skin us and our health. In conclusion,
although
, effects cosmetic
surgery
on our society,
therefore
, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
The
Correct article usage
apply
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cosmetic
surgery
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
enjoy
Correct pronoun usage
us enjoy
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks an introduction and a conclusion. It is necessary to give an overview of your main points in the introduction and summarize your ideas in the conclusion.
task achievement
You need to provide more specific examples to support your ideas. Avoid making general statements without any evidence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks coherence and proper organization of ideas. Make sure to present your ideas in a clear and logical manner.
lexical resource
Improve your lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise and accurate word choices.
grammatical range
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cosmetic surgery
  • Appearance
  • Improvement
  • Societal pressure
  • Media influence
  • Self-confidence
  • Self-esteem
  • Physical imperfections
  • Defects
  • Career
  • Professional reasons
  • Advancements
  • Medical technology
  • Accessibility
  • Negative
  • Psychological impacts
  • Realistic expectations
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