Write about the following topic. An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

#topic #people #surgery #appearance #operation #change #development

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There is no doubt that

these day

Change the determiner

this day

these days

show examples

too much of people

choosing

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

cosmetic

surgery

in order to improve their appearance, The question is:

are

Verb problem

does

show examples

cosmetic

surgery

have problems ? In

this

essay, I am going to discuss my view and draw my personal conclusion. In

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

of advantages, Societal pressure and media influence. The main reason given to support

this

claim is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

If I have a fun face a lot of people will

laughing

Wrong verb form

laugh

show examples

at me. to illustrate

, Desire

Correct your spelling

the desire

for self-confidence and improved self-esteem,

Also

, Correcting physical defects or defects.

However

disadvantages

Societal

Change preposition

of Societal

show examples

pressure ,

Firstly

Negative psychological impacts and unrealistic expectations,

in other words

, effects cosmetic

surgery

fature

Correct your spelling

future

feature

on skin us and our health. In conclusion,

although

, effects cosmetic

surgery

on our society,

therefore

, I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cosmetic

surgery

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

enjoy

Correct pronoun usage

us enjoy

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

Submitted by e32ttc on Wed Nov 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is unclear. It is important to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs with supporting ideas, and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks an introduction and a conclusion. It is necessary to give an overview of your main points in the introduction and summarize your ideas in the conclusion.

task achievement

You need to provide more specific examples to support your ideas. Avoid making general statements without any evidence.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks coherence and proper organization of ideas. Make sure to present your ideas in a clear and logical manner.

lexical resource

Improve your lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise and accurate word choices.

grammatical range

Work on your grammatical range and accuracy to avoid errors and improve the overall quality of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

138 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cosmetic surgery
Appearance
Improvement
Societal pressure
Media influence
Self-confidence
Self-esteem
Physical imperfections
Defects
Career
Professional reasons
Advancements
Medical technology
Accessibility
Negative
Psychological impacts
Realistic expectations

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Write about the following topic. An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that the experience children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your opinions.