Write about the following topic. An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

There is no doubt that
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
too much of people
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
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cosmetic
surgery
in order to improve their appearance, The question is:
are
Verb problem
does
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cosmetic
surgery
have problems ? In
this
essay, I am going to discuss my view and draw my personal conclusion. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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of advantages, Societal pressure and media influence. The main reason given to support
this
claim is that
,
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apply
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If I have a fun face a lot of people will
laughing
Wrong verb form
laugh
show examples
at me. to illustrate
, Desire
Correct your spelling
the desire
for self-confidence and improved self-esteem,
Also
, Correcting physical defects or defects.
However
disadvantages
Societal
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of Societal
show examples
pressure ,
Firstly
Negative psychological impacts and unrealistic expectations,
in other words
, effects cosmetic
surgery
in
fature
Correct your spelling
future
feature
on skin us and our health. In conclusion,
although
, effects cosmetic
surgery
on our society,
therefore
, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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The
Correct article usage
apply
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cosmetic
surgery
make
enjoy
Correct pronoun usage
us enjoy
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
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our life.
Submitted by e32ttc on

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task response
Make sure to fully address the prompt and provide a clear position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas logically with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use precise and appropriate word choices.
grammatical range
Work on improving your sentence structure and grammar usage for clearer communication.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cosmetic surgery
  • Appearance
  • Improvement
  • Societal pressure
  • Media influence
  • Self-confidence
  • Self-esteem
  • Physical imperfections
  • Defects
  • Career
  • Professional reasons
  • Advancements
  • Medical technology
  • Accessibility
  • Negative
  • Psychological impacts
  • Realistic expectations
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