IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

37.The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

37.The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #study #students #age #groups #amount #support #employers #information #features #comparisons
The bar graphs display the reasons why
people
 from different
age
 ranges decided to
study
 and the percentage of
support
 given by employers.
Overall
,
people
 from under 26 to 39 years old
study
for having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
 a career,
while
individuals
 from above 40 decide to
study
 a career because of interest. The significant feature of the second graph is that students under 26 years old are more probably to get
support
 from employers. 80% of
people
 under 26
study
 for a career,
while
 70%
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 from 26 to 29
study
 for the same reason, which is 2% higher than those in
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
range
 30 to 39.
People
Change preposition
For people
show examples
 in the
age
range
 of 40 to 49, their value was twice as much as the lowest, which was those over 49, which
individuals
 studied because of interest, with a percentage of 70%. Followed by
individuals
 from 40 to 49 with just over 40%.
While
individuals
 in
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
range
 30 to 39 only one-fourth chose to
study
 because of interest, and
people
 from 26 to 29 and under 26 had the lowest rate with 15% and 10% respectively. Younger
people
 received the highest
support
 from employers, with 65%, followed by the next
age
range
, with 50%,
furthermore
, over 49
people
 received 5% less than those from 26 to 29, which was 45%.
Individuals
 from 30 to 39 and 40 to 49 received
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
similar
support
, which was 38% and just under 35% respectively.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age, study, support, individuals, range with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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