IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

do you think is consumption is important to a country. do you agree and disagree ?

#consumption #country
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There has been a recent debate about whether
consumption
Use synonyms
 is vital for the nation or not. Even though , it
is
Verb problem
plays
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 playing indispensable role
for
Change preposition
in
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fulfilling the essential needs of people in terms of survival
such
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 as food , clothes and
house
Wrong verb form
housing
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.
However
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,
this
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 essay delves into the dual nature of
consumption
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,
explorinng
Correct your spelling
exploring
 its positive contribution
while
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 highlighting the the significant negative impacts. To commence with, as we know, nowadays there is a drastic increase in
number
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a number
the number
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 of people as compared to previous years, so the demands
has
Change the verb form
have
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also
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 significantly increased among the folks in terms of fashionable clothes , luxurious homes and advanced gadgets.
Moreover
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,
consumption
Use synonyms
 has been
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
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 extremely productive in the growth of
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
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 economy.
The one
Correct article usage
One
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stand out
Add a hyphen
stand-out
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 example would be Apple , Apple has been gaining popularity for its
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 gadgets
from
Change preposition
in
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 the
last
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 decade
to
Change preposition
apply
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all over the world and it is the prominent resource for every nation to boost their financial growth and it leads to more job
oppurtunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in the market.
On the other hand
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,
consumption
Use synonyms
 has
also
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 bad impacts that cannot be neglected
for example
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 deforestation , global warming and pollution .
Firstly
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,
high
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the high
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 population is the main cause
for
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of
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rise
Add an article
the rise
a rise
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 in pollution which
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
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 our atmosphere
which
Correct word choice
and
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result
Change the verb form
results
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 in hazardous diseases.
Secondly
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,
deforestaion
Correct your spelling
deforestation
 is
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another problematic cause for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumption
Use synonyms
 because of
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
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of
Change preposition
for
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accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, residence
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 and industries as well .
Apart from
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this
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 , these days lots of animals are getting slaughtered
bruttaly
Correct your spelling
brutally
 for the sake of their skin to make
such
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 fashionable clothes which is
quite
Change the article
quite a
a quite
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 pathetic way of living for humankind.
To conclude
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,
consumption
Use synonyms
 is
inevitable
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the inevitable
an inevitable
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 source for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society in terms of living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
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.
However
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 , it has a dark side which can not be denied.
Therefore
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,
government
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the government
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 should take
propmt
Correct your spelling
prompt
 action
about
Change preposition
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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by
educate
Change the verb form
educating
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 people about it so that the utilization will be at
moderate
Add an article
a moderate
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 level and that would be beneficial for
upcoming
Add an article
the upcoming
an upcoming
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 generation.
Submitted by surjitsingh760 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and coherent logical structure throughout your essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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