In many nations , only a minority of young people are willing to do unpaid community service . There are many arguments that shows many negative outcomes because of this problem and the best solution are in demand .

There is a prevailing argument indicating that a few young groups of people are engaging
social
Change preposition
in social
show examples
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
without financial compensation.
According to
this
, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
dozens of polemics signifying that it might have some adverse circumstances
due to
financial limitations. It is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
common knowledge that the importance of monetary payments plays a significant role. As far as a majority of individuals may approach their objectives with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of seriousness and
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
,
therefore
, negative environmental and public consequences might be expected,
such
as fire and other unfortunate accidents. To delve deeper, let's
express
Verb problem
give
show examples
some examples.
According to
the latest news, members of
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
eco-enterprise called "Jusan" were responsible for a fire that engulfed 1000 hectares of dry fields. As it turned out
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
ecological
community
hired
recent
Change the adjective
recently
show examples
graduated students without payrolls, by promising them social achievement certificates in return.
This
incident illustrated that, in the realm of
community
services, not only compensation is
cruical
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
, but
also
the knowledge of health and labour safety. Regarding the appropriate solutions, governments should support these
community
service enterprises through funding and social packages, or attract advanced private companies for investment.
For example
, if teenagers have the opportunity to both contribute to the environment and earn a salary
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
simultaneously, they will be more focused on their tasks and adhere
proper
Change preposition
to proper
show examples
specifications.
Furthermore
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of young individuals engage in support services to enhance their social achievements,
therefore
, monetary awards should be preserved. As the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
force's performance and contributions need to be assessed.
To sum up
,
community
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to be assessed, as it impacts
participant's
Fix the agreement mistake
participants'
show examples
concentration and
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
Otherwise
, negative outcomes may occur.
Submitted by kozhantaevisa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay lacks a clear position on the topic. It is important to clearly state your stance or opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion. There is a lack of logical progression, and the ideas are not well-connected.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and could benefit from the use of more varied and precise language.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay. It is important to review grammar rules and practice sentence construction.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid community service
  • willingness
  • negative outcomes
  • problem
  • demand
  • community involvement
  • society
  • personal development
  • opportunities
  • networking
  • solutions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: