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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph, and make comparisons where relevant.
#unemployment #levels #ireland #people #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graph
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 information about the
porpotion
Correct your spelling
portion
proportion
 of
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
rate
 Irish nation and
Correct article usage
the migiration
show examples
migiration
Correct your spelling
migration
 of them between 1988 and 2008.
Overall
, the percentage of
unemployment
 which was
approximetely
Correct your spelling
approximately
 17% in 1988
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 by 11% in 2008. In 1988, 60000 people left their country
while
 the
unemployment
 percentage was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
hightes
Correct your spelling
highest
higher
rate
. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it experienced a slight
fell
Replace the word
fall
show examples
 to just above 55000 in 1990 and
then
 sharply decreased to
approximetely
Correct your spelling
approximately
35000
whereas
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
rate
 faced
flactuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuations
 until 1992 and fell
signifecntly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 to just under 6% in 2000.
Moreover
, the number
Change preposition
of migiration
show examples
migiration
Correct your spelling
migration
 folks from 1994 went down until 2004 which stood
approximetly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 at 27000. In 2002, the number of Irish people who left their hometown
inceased
Correct your spelling
decreased
 again but from 2004 it shot a rocket to 50000 in 2008.
On the other hand
,
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
 percentage
remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
remains
 at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
rate
 with a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 increase to 6% in 2008.
Submitted by mirhashemim7 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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