The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries.

#information #predictions #change #percentage #population #three #countries

The cross-section chart underneath

portray

Change the verb form

portrays

show examples

diffrences

Correct your spelling

differences

proportion

Add an article

the proportion

a proportion

show examples

of individuals

Change preposition

apply

show examples

65 years of age or above in Canada, Germany,

The

Correct word choice

and The

show examples

UK for the years 1988, 2000 and 2030.

Overall

, the percentages of old age persons rose considerably over the course of the timeline in all three nations. The highest proportions will be marked for Germany,

whereas

the least ones shall be in the UK. Around 16.32 per

cent

of the people were aged 65 and above in Canada during the beginning of the time period,

after

this

, the value rose by

aprroximately

Correct your spelling

approximately

4 per

cent

by 2000.

Additionally

Add a comma

Additionally,

show examples

the

proportions

Fix the agreement mistake

proportion

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of old age people are projected to reach 26.35 per

cent

by the end. In Germany, about 20.45 per

cent

of the total population accounted for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

geriatric ones,

following

this

, the

portions

Fix the agreement mistake

portion

show examples

of these persons

incremented

Verb problem

increased

show examples

considerably. By 2030, the percentage of concerned people shall rise to 30.42 per

cent

. In 1988, the proportion of individuals who were aged 65 and above

counted

Verb problem

was

show examples

14.23 per

cent

, in the next time period the value rose minimally and is predicted to clock a little more than 20 per

cent

by 2030.

Submitted by mrigankingley2099 on Thu Nov 02 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

191 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

percentage change
population
aged 65 and above
information
table
data
trends
patterns
comparison
predicted
future
findings
comment

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The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work. in another country if they wish, Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many feel that common educational system of teachers and students ina a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050 do you agree with this view give your opinion?

Some parents believe that their children their children should do extra curricular activities after shcool. Others say in this was, children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lesson about work abs become more disciplined other argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.