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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Your friend has been offered a place on a course at the university where you studied. He/She would like your advice about finding a place to live Write an email to your friend. In your letter - describe where you lived when you were a student at the university - recommend the best way for him/her to look for accommodation - warn him/her of mistakes students make when choosing accommodation

#friend #place #course #university #advice #email #student #accommodation #mistakes #students
Dear Freind Sofia: It
was
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 a long time since we
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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met and
catch
Wrong verb form
caught
show examples
 up so I am very
pleasant
Replace the word
pleased
show examples
 by your email and congratulations
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
offered
Replace the word
offer
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 course at my university. I
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 at
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 residence When I was a student it was a resident building
has
Wrong verb form
that had
show examples
 three parts.
On
Correct your spelling
One
show examples
 for the male and the female and another one for academic staff .the female area was completely
comforatable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
. where you will find your privacy. I recommend
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you to look for accommodation that
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
close to your college where you will attend the course .
Therefore
, it helps to save more of your budget and time.
In addition
, near to the main street in
Centre
Correct article usage
the Centre
show examples
town
Change preposition
of town
show examples
there
Rephrase
apply
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you will be
more safe
Correct word choice
safer
show examples
 and close to the supermarket and a restaurant. Most of the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
failed in
Verb problem
make
show examples
 a mistake when choosing
theier
Correct your spelling
their
 shelter
.they
Correct your spelling
They
 never check the sanitation system of a resident and
also
 prefer to be far away from downtown why the coast is acceptable so they do not Think about transportation and the value
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
. I hope my recommendation and
issues
Correct article usage
the issues
show examples
 highlighted above helped you to choose a better accommodation. I am waiting to
hearing
Change the verb form
hear
show examples
 back from you. Sincerely yours
Submitted by enasawad68 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion to the letter.
coherence cohesion
Organize the ideas in each paragraph more effectively.
lexical resource
Expand on vocabulary and use more varied expressions.
grammatical range
Pay attention to verb tenses and sentence structures.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dormitories
  • rental agreements
  • house-hunting
  • budgeting
  • commute
  • utilities
  • security deposit
  • lease
  • proximity
  • amenities
  • landlord
  • tenant rights
  • real estate agent
  • furnished/unfurnished
  • flatmates
  • on-campus/off-campus living
  • viewings
  • public transportation
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