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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

53.The diagrams below show three methods by which three companies choose to recruit new employees. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

53.The diagrams below show three methods by which three companies choose to recruit new employees. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The graphic illustrates the different ways in which three companies recruit new workers.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is a 4 to 6-stage and linear process. It begins with advertising or external recruitment followed by different activities and considerations taken by the companies, and
finally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are given the
job
Use synonyms
 offer.
Company
Use synonyms
 A, has the shortest recruitment method, starting with uploading publicity within the
company
Use synonyms
, after that, the
company
Use synonyms
 have a short list of applicants, and these
people
Use synonyms
 are called for an interview, and
finally
Linking Words
, some of them, get a
job
Use synonyms
 offer.
Company
Use synonyms
 B is advertised by the press, which will help them get a number of curriculums, they will consider each applicant, and choose those who are suitable for the
job
Use synonyms
 position, so they have a shortlist. All
people
Use synonyms
 on the shortlist will be interviewed and tested, and if they pass both processes,
then
Linking Words
 they will be given a
job
Use synonyms
 offer.
Company
Use synonyms
 C gets the applicant list from external recruitment,
this
Linking Words
 can be from advertisements by agents or research by headhunters. The
company
Use synonyms
 will directly get a short list of the best applicants, these
people
Use synonyms
 will be called for an interview and the ones that fit the best will get the
job
Use synonyms
 position.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, job, company with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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