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Writing Samples
Band 7

The first graph shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009. The second graph shows the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first graph shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009. The second graph shows the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The first line graph illustrates how many people
travelling
Wrong verb form
travelled
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 by train during a 9-year
period
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2009,
while
Linking Words
 the other shows the proportion of punctual
trains
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.
Overall
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, there were many significant changes during
this
Linking Words
period
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. Both the number of train
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 and the rate of
trains
Use synonyms
 running on time as opposed to the target pretty dramatically increased. It can be clearly observed from the first chart that there were around 40
billion
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 commuters using
trains
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 in the year 2000.
Then
Linking Words
 there was a slight increase to nearly 45
billion
Use synonyms
 in the number of people going by train in 2002, which was followed by the lowest point of roughly 35
billion
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 one year later. After two years, it reached a peak of approximately 50
billion
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travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 before decreasing
of
Change preposition
to
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 five
billion
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 in the
last
Linking Words
 year. In terms of the other graph, 92% of
trains
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 running on time in comparison with their target. After the following four years, it substantially rose to 96%, but later
this
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 rate considerably fell
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 4%, which was the same as it was in 2000.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 figure of
trains
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 being punctual saw a significant growth to 97%, which was the peak during
this
Linking Words
period
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, before levelling off
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of the
period
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 of time.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, trains, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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