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Band 7

the table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies bewteeb 1975 and 2015.

the table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies bewteeb 1975 and 2015.
The table below illustrates the proportion of
collaboration
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 of females in senior management in
Eldan
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,
Bamforth
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 and
Finsbury
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 Ltd
company
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 during four decades.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the most participation of
women
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 was in
Eldan
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company
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 that during years increased significantly
while
Linking Words
 females were
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
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collaboration
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 in
Finsbury
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company
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. In detail, in 1975 female employees who participated in senior management in
Finsbury
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Company
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 accounted for 16 per
cent
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, only 3 per
cent
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 of
women
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 collaborate for
Eldan
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company
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 and 9 per
cent
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 for
Bamforth
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 Ltd. In 1980, the
collaboration
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 of
women
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 in
Bamforth
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 and
Finsbury
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 increased by 2 per
cent
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whereas
Linking Words
 in
Eldan
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 remained unchanged.
However
Linking Words
, in 1985, the participation of
women
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 in
Eldan
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 grew by 11 per
cent
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while
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 the two other companies increased by
2per
Correct your spelling
2 per
cent
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
collaboration
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 of females in the
Eldan
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 department rose dramatically between 1990 and 2015 from 28 per
cent
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 reached 64 per
cent
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.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, participation of individuals in
Finsbury
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 during 15 years increased just by 10 per
cent
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 and
collaboration
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 in
Bamforth
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 organization reached from 15 per
cent
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 to 46 per
cent
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words collaboration, eldan, bamforth, finsbury, company, women, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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