IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.
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The diagram illustrates the
percentag
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of boys and girls who did the five different activities in cultural and leisure
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
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.
Overall
Linking Words
 , most of the
mens
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men
men's
participated in computer games and
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 amount of gens people attended
in
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apply
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reading
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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, at nearly 2% .
Furtermore
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Furthermore
27%
girls
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of girls
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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liked to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dance which was a
hightes
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higher
 count . small count of ladies people
are
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is
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 spent the time with listening
tomusic
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to music
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,
lot
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a lot
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 of boys were interested
to do
Change preposition
in doing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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lacy
activityies
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activities
such
Linking Words
 as computer games .
on the other hand
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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the
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
same amount of
Correct your spelling
men
men's
menus
mens
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men
show examples
participated the skateboarding and listening to music

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • survey
  • comparison
  • popularity
  • activities
  • gender-specific
  • predominantly
  • societal factors
  • psychological factors
  • development
  • teamwork
  • physical health
  • cognitive skills
  • educational policies
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