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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. Write an email to your friend. In your letter, recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn explain how your friend could learn this sport suggest that you both learn this sport together

#friend #lives #town #advice #sport #email
Dear
freind
Correct your spelling
friend
friends
safia
Change the capitalization
Safia
show examples
: I hope
this
 letter finds you in a good situation. long time since we
catch-
Wrong verb form
have caught
show examples
 up together .So I am very glad
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 email your email. As you asked me about
Add an article
a
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new sport,I highly recommend it for you swimming. as far as is a sport and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 activity. It is a good cardiovascular activity
,Could
Correct your spelling
and could
lost weight and get
abetter
Correct your spelling
a better
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body shape.I noticed you got more weight so is suitable
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 your condition.
Furthermore
,helpful
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 relaxing
relieve
Wrong verb form
and relieving
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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stress ,as soon as you hit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the water you become
relax
Replace the word
relaxed
show examples
Correct word choice
and refresh
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refresh
Replace the word
refreshed
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.
In addition
, you could easily Learn it in that gym where located in our town . Probably,
thet
Correct your spelling
they
that
have a good coach
could
Correct pronoun usage
who could
show examples
 teach you the technique of
swim
Change the verb form
swimming
show examples
 up and down . I hope all
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
 mentioned above helps you and I suggest to learn it with you
this
 a healthy sport . Looking back to hearing from you, Sincerely yours.
Submitted by enasawad68 on

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task achievement
Make sure to address all the points mentioned in the prompt. You mentioned the new sport recommendation but missed explaining how your friend can learn it and suggesting learning it together.
coherence cohesion
The overall organization of the letter is unclear. Try to use paragraphs to separate ideas and make the letter easier to read.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make your writing more varied and precise. Avoid repeating words and phrases too often.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy. Review tenses, subject-verb agreement, and word order to improve your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advice
  • recommend
  • suitable
  • learn
  • coach
  • lessons
  • tutorial videos
  • practice
  • tennis club
  • group
  • schedule
  • regularly
  • participants
  • tournaments
  • friendly matches
What to do next:
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