IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The two pie graphs compare the ratio of
five
Correct article usage
the five
show examples
 categories
Change preposition
of families
show examples
families
Change noun form
families'
show examples
 average
cost
 in two different countries
Japan
 and
Malaysia
 in the year 2010. It is noticeable
spent
Correct word choice
that spent
show examples
 a
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
 percentage of their household on food and housing occupied their salaries in both countries in the same year period,
while
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
 families spent
transport
Correct quantifier usage
more transport
show examples
 than
Malaysia
Replace the word
Malaysian
show examples
 families. As per the pie graph in
Japan
,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we can
be seen
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people spent a large number of other goods and services 29%
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was more than 3%
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
Malaysia
Change noun form
Malaysia's
show examples
 expenditures in 2010, and
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 and third
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 were food and housing that it occupied 24% and 21% respectively.
On the other hand
, more than a third(34%) and overtook a quarter (25%) salaries of
Malaysia
 people were
cost
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 on housing and food more than one in ten(13%) and 3% respectively in
Japan
.
Moreover
, people
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
Malaysia
cost
 in the other goods and s
Submitted by ur790609922 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cost, japan, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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