IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The chart shows
percent
 changes in
people
 who were born in
Australia
 and who were born outside
Australia
 living in
urba
Correct your spelling
urban
,
ruaral
Correct your spelling
rural
 and
teown
Correct your spelling
town
down
 between 1995 and 2010. The percentage of
people
 in the three
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
 housings
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 changed significantly over the time
period
.
People
 born in
Australia
 and living in cities have gone up from almost 45% to 60%. The percentage of
people
 living in town has declined over the
period
 from 20% to 15%.
People
 living in urban
areas
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
also
 dropped from from 30% to 15% from 1995 to 2010.
While
 percentage of
people
 born outside
Australia
 and living in cities rose significantly from 60% to 80%.
People
 living in town
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a
sight
Correct your spelling
slight
show examples
 decline of almost 5% and
Correct article usage
the percent
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
 living in rural
areas
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
signifiacantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 dropped from 40% to 5%. All in all,
people
 who were born in
Australia
 and
people
 who were born outside of
Australia
 over the
period
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
 living in cities remained higher than in towns and rural
areas
 but the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
 living in rural
areas
 has significantly declined over the
period
 as shown in the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
graph.
Submitted by usachalo24 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent, people, australia, period, areas with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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