IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #money #poverty #aid
While
 it is true that
money
 doesn't solve all the issues or eradicate poverty
but
Correct word choice
apply
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there are significant changes that can be done with
money
. Fortunately, we live in a world where
money
 can buy anything and everything and can give the opportunity for the poorer
country
 to fulfil their specific needs. Developed
countries
 provide financial
aid
 that can be used to focus on what needs to
bought
Add a missing verb
be bought
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 by the poorer
country
. The
money
 can be focused on the needs of the poorer
country
. Whether it is required for
infrastucture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
, food, medicine education or water shortage, each
country
 can allocate the
money
according to
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 requirements and needs.
While
 the developed
countries
 have the
money
 they
also
 need to ration their resources in case of a national calamity or a war.
Also
, the resources that the rich
country
 might have in surplus might not be required by the poorer
country
.
Whereas
 financial
aid
 can be useful for any and all the needs of the poorer
country
. The
money
 can be used to meet the
countries
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country's
countries'
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long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 plans which
woud
Correct your spelling
would
 eventually help them to survive on their own and become a developed
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. We each have our own ideas of how we can resolve the issues of poverty. Some
countries
 require higher medical care
while
 other
countries
 require agricultural
aid
.
While
 the rich
countries
 can provide other types of help, it is not necessary
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 rich
countries
 will always have the resources to meet the specific needs of the poorer
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. Financial
aid
 can resolve any and all types of issues for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing
countries
.
Submitted by usachalo24 on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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