The chart shows the main methods of transportation for people travelling to a university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons wherever relevant.

The chart shows the main methods of transportation for people travelling to a university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons wherever relevant.
The pie chart depicts the main methods of transportation for folk travelling to a university for work or study from 2004 to 2009 in the UK.
Overall
, it is noticeable that in 2004
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
obtained the highest percentage of transportation,
while
the
train
lowest.
Furthermore
, in 2009
car
became unpopular and was replaced by
bus
which had the largest proportion ,
whereas
train
remained lowest in the period given.
To begin
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
2004,
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
accounted for 3 % which is 3 times smaller than
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
(9%).
However
,
train
Add an article
the train
a train
show examples
was
type
Add an article
the type
a type
show examples
of transport which was less used over the period in question.
Therefore
,
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
obtained 51 % roughly,
while
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
only 33 %. In terms of walking, it had only 4 %. With regards to 2009,
bus
accounted for 46 % which is eight times bigger than walking (6%).
Moreover
,
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
was the type of transportation which
always
Add a missing verb
was always
show examples
used.
Moreover
,
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
had 4 %,
whereas
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
obtained 28 % roughly.
Consequently
,
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
obtained only 16 % in the period given.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, whereas, while".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words car, train, bus with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: