The chart shows the main methods of transportation for people travelling to a university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons wherever relevant.

The chart shows the main methods of transportation for people travelling to a university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons wherever relevant.
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The pie chart depicts the main methods of transportation for folk travelling to a university for work or study from 2004 to 2009 in the UK.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that in 2004
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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obtained the highest percentage of transportation,
while
Linking Words
the
train
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lowest.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2009
car
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became unpopular and was replaced by
bus
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which had the largest proportion ,
whereas
Linking Words
train
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remained lowest in the period given.
To begin
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with
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in
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2004,
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train
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trains
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accounted for 3 % which is 3 times smaller than
bicycle
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bicycles
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(9%).
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
train
Add an article
the train
a train
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was
type
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the type
a type
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of transport which was less used over the period in question.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
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car
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cars
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obtained 51 % roughly,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
bus
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buses
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only 33 %. In terms of walking, it had only 4 %. With regards to 2009,
bus
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accounted for 46 % which is eight times bigger than walking (6%).
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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bus
Add an article
the bus
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was the type of transportation which
always
Add a missing verb
was always
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used.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
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had 4 %,
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
car
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cars
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obtained 28 % roughly.
Consequently
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,
bicycle
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bicycles
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obtained only 16 % in the period given.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, whereas, while".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words car, train, bus with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mode of transportation
  • Significant percentage
  • Noticeable decrease/increase
  • Environmentally friendly
  • Public transit systems
  • Commuting habits
  • Relatively stable
  • Sustainable
  • Collective modes of transportation
  • Environmental awareness
  • Economic factors
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