IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the first chart below shows how energy is used in an average australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the first chart below shows how energy is used in an average australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The first pie chart illustrates what an average Australian family
used
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 for, and the second pie chart indicates
Use synonyms
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of produced gas
due to
Linking Words
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, an average Australian family
used
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
 more than
two-third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
 of the
energy
Use synonyms
 for heating and water heating, and around half of the emitted greenhouse gases
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 a result of these
energy
Use synonyms
 uses. Australians consumed the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 for heating, and the second
high
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 for water heating, 42% and 30% respectively. Interestingly, despite being the main purpose of
energy
Use synonyms
 use, the percentage of gas emitted
as a result
Linking Words
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption for heating was the third
large
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
, after 32% for water heating and 28% for other appliances.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
lowest
Add an article
the lowest
show examples
 amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 was used for cooling, lighting, and refrigeration with 2%, 4%, and 7% respectively. Among the
last
Linking Words
 three,
energy
Use synonyms
 used for refrigeration was the most pollutive, with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 14% share of emitted gas,
while
Linking Words
 the pollution share for cooling and lightning
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 3% and 8% respectively.
Submitted by mohsen.pn1998 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, proportion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
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