Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road saftey. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days the more cities make progress in
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
process, the more the way citizens use vehicles 
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
important.
Therefore
, it is argued by a group of people that the best
approach
for enhancing driving
standards
would be forcing all
drivers
to take regular road
courses
for safety reasons.
On the other hand
, some
othe
Correct your spelling
other
individuals claim that only strict
punishments
are effective and would prevent
drivers
from driving in dangerous ways. In my opinion, a balanced
approach
  would cover all issues here. To elaborate,
although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
cultural acts
such
as regular
saftey
Correct your spelling
safety
courses
are needed, strict
punishments
which cause reckless
drivers
costs would be a practical option that are needed in some case too.
Genarally
Correct your spelling
Generally
,
both
groups of people that emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
punishments
and taking
saftey
Correct your spelling
safety
courses
for bad driving and improving driving
standards
, have
goon
Correct your spelling
good
show examples
intentions. They probably know that many road accidents that cause increasing death rates are mostly because of bad driving
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
However
, what
both
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
fail to consider is that improving driving
standards
require
both
cultural and practical act from
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
Due to
this
fact, governors should realize that making improvement in driving
standards
need changes in social policies. They should go after social scientists and get their
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
opinions
on
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
what is the best way of enhancing driving
standards
.
Also
, they should consider
this
concept as an intersectional field which
requres
Correct your spelling
requires
both
sociological review and
law related
Add a hyphen
law-related
show examples
regulation. As a matter of
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
fact, the best way to decrease bad and dangerous driving is to use a balanced
approach
that covers all issues that are neglected by each of those
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
solely. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, despite the fact that regular
saftey
Correct your spelling
safety
courses
and strict
punishments
both
can be effective for reckless
drivers
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they are
noth
Correct your spelling
not
enough if they do not complete
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
. As I mentioned above, making improvements in driving
standards
need an intersectional and balanced
approach
by governments to make
drivers
follow rules as
habit
Correct article usage
a habit
show examples
and
also
, by charging them in cases that are needed, prevent them from
repating
Correct your spelling
repeating
reporting
repaying
bad driving.
Submitted by naazanin.eftekhaar on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both views on strict punishments and alternative measures. However, there is room for improvement in presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. Make sure to develop your arguments more fully and provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally well-maintained, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the support for your main points could be stronger. Consider expanding on your ideas and providing more detailed explanations or evidence to enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some instances where more precise and varied vocabulary could enhance your essay. Try to incorporate more specific terms and expressions related to driving standards and safety measures. Additionally, be mindful of using correct collocations and word choices to convey your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures and accurate use of tenses. However, pay attention to sentence clarity and ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly. Avoid any repetitive or overly complex sentence structures that may confuse the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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