Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road saftey. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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These days the more cities make progress in
development
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the development
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process, the more the way citizens use vehicles 
become
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becomes
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important.
Therefore
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, it is argued by a group of people that the best
approach
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for enhancing driving
standards
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would be forcing all
drivers
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to take regular road
courses
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for safety reasons.
On the other hand
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, some
othe
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other
individuals claim that only strict
punishments
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are effective and would prevent
drivers
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from driving in dangerous ways. In my opinion, a balanced
approach
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  would cover all issues here. To elaborate,
although
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,
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apply
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cultural acts
such
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as regular
saftey
Correct your spelling
safety
courses
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are needed, strict
punishments
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which cause reckless
drivers
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costs would be a practical option that are needed in some case too.
Genarally
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Generally
,
both
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groups of people that emphasize
on
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apply
show examples
punishments
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and taking
saftey
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safety
courses
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for bad driving and improving driving
standards
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, have
goon
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good
show examples
intentions. They probably know that many road accidents that cause increasing death rates are mostly because of bad driving
behavior
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behaviour
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.
However
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, what
both
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group
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groups
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fail to consider is that improving driving
standards
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require
both
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cultural and practical act from
government
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the government
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Due to
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this
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fact, governors should realize that making improvement in driving
standards
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need changes in social policies. They should go after social scientists and get their
opinon
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opinion
opinions
on
that
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apply
show examples
what is the best way of enhancing driving
standards
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.
Also
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, they should consider
this
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concept as an intersectional field which
requres
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requires
both
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sociological review and
law related
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law-related
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regulation. As a matter of
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this
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apply
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fact, the best way to decrease bad and dangerous driving is to use a balanced
approach
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that covers all issues that are neglected by each of those
arguements
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arguments
solely. In
coclusion
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conclusion
, despite the fact that regular
saftey
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safety
courses
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and strict
punishments
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both
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can be effective for reckless
drivers
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but
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apply
show examples
they are
noth
Correct your spelling
not
enough if they do not complete
eachother
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each other
. As I mentioned above, making improvements in driving
standards
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need an intersectional and balanced
approach
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by governments to make
drivers
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follow rules as
habit
Correct article usage
a habit
show examples
and
also
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, by charging them in cases that are needed, prevent them from
repating
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repeating
reporting
repaying
bad driving.
Submitted by naazanin.eftekhaar on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both views on strict punishments and alternative measures. However, there is room for improvement in presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. Make sure to develop your arguments more fully and provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally well-maintained, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the support for your main points could be stronger. Consider expanding on your ideas and providing more detailed explanations or evidence to enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some instances where more precise and varied vocabulary could enhance your essay. Try to incorporate more specific terms and expressions related to driving standards and safety measures. Additionally, be mindful of using correct collocations and word choices to convey your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures and accurate use of tenses. However, pay attention to sentence clarity and ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly. Avoid any repetitive or overly complex sentence structures that may confuse the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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