The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives

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Enriching people’s

lives

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should be the most significant goal of

science

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. I partly agree with

this

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statement because

although

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the development of

science

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can contribute to improving people’s

lives

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, there are

also

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a variety of aims of

science

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. I think

science

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can help citizens’

lives

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become better for several reasons.

Firstly

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, it can make life expectancy longer. The advancement of

science

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leads to a wider range of diseases that can be cured. It can lead to

increasing

Correct article usage

an increasing

show examples

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apply

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sense of happiness and safety.

Secondly

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science

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can produce more food efficiently. Nowadays, the lack of food has been caused around the world. It can make individuals face

the

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show examples

shortage of food.

Nonetheless

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, the development of

science

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can provide efficient ways to grow plants and feed animals.

Therefore

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this

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can enrich

people’

Change noun form

people’s

show examples

lives

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However

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, I believe the aim of

science

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also

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economic growth.

Science

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is one of the industries producing the most money and a country can earn a huge amount of money through exporting knowledge and products produced from

science

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Thus

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, governments tend to invest in

science

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industries in order to grow their economy.

Additionally

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, the aim of

science

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is to solve various mysteries and problems existing in today’s society. Especially, scientists tend to be enthusiastic about finding something new and exploring what is unknown to anyone. In conclusion,

while

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improving people’s

lives

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is the most crucial aim of

science

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, promoting economic growth and resolving mysteries are

also

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significant aims of

science

Use synonyms

Submitted by mr.kankan70717 on Sun Nov 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of supporting your main points with more specific examples.

task achievement

While your essay provides a response to the prompt, you could have expanded further on the importance of science in improving people's lives. Additionally, more emphasis could be placed on addressing the opposite viewpoint.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary and lexical resource is generally effective. To further enhance your lexical range, consider incorporating more varied vocabulary and expressions related to the topic.

grammatical range

Your grammatical range is largely accurate, with only a few errors. Pay attention to verb tenses and sentence structures to further improve your grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government university?

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?