The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives

Enriching people’s

lives

should be the most significant goal of

science

. I partly agree with

this

statement because

although

the development of

science

can contribute to improving people’s

lives

, there are

also

a variety of aims of

science

. I think

science

can help citizens’

lives

become better for several reasons.

Firstly

, it can make life expectancy longer. The advancement of

science

leads to a wider range of diseases that can be cured. It can lead to

increasing

Correct article usage

an increasing

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sense of happiness and safety.

Secondly

science

can produce more food efficiently. Nowadays, the lack of food has been caused around the world. It can make individuals face

the

Correct article usage

show examples

shortage of food.

Nonetheless

, the development of

science

can provide efficient ways to grow plants and feed animals.

Therefore

this

can enrich

people’

Change noun form

people’s

show examples

lives

However

, I believe the aim of

science

also

economic growth.

Science

is one of the industries producing the most money and a country can earn a huge amount of money through exporting knowledge and products produced from

science

Thus

, governments tend to invest in

science

industries in order to grow their economy.

Additionally

, the aim of

science

is to solve various mysteries and problems existing in today’s society. Especially, scientists tend to be enthusiastic about finding something new and exploring what is unknown to anyone. In conclusion,

while

improving people’s

lives

is the most crucial aim of

science

, promoting economic growth and resolving mysteries are

also

significant aims of

science

Submitted by mr.kankan70717 on Sun Nov 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of supporting your main points with more specific examples.

task achievement

While your essay provides a response to the prompt, you could have expanded further on the importance of science in improving people's lives. Additionally, more emphasis could be placed on addressing the opposite viewpoint.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary and lexical resource is generally effective. To further enhance your lexical range, consider incorporating more varied vocabulary and expressions related to the topic.

grammatical range

Your grammatical range is largely accurate, with only a few errors. Pay attention to verb tenses and sentence structures to further improve your grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Your neighbor keeps his/her animal in the garden. Write to him/her about it and the inconvenience it causes you and your family. In your letter · tell what the problem is · explain why it causes inconvenience · suggest a possible solution to it

In some countries, more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What is the reason for this Is this a positive or negative development