The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Enriching people’s
lives
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should be the most significant goal of
science
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. I partly agree with
this
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statement because
although
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the development of
science
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can contribute to improving people’s
lives
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, there are
also
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a variety of aims of
science
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. I think
science
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can help citizens’
lives
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become better for several reasons.
Firstly
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, it can make life expectancy longer. The advancement of
science
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leads to a wider range of diseases that can be cured. It can lead to
increasing
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an increasing
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a
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apply
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sense of happiness and safety.
Secondly
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,
science
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can produce more food efficiently. Nowadays, the lack of food has been caused around the world. It can make individuals face
the
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a
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shortage of food.
Nonetheless
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, the development of
science
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can provide efficient ways to grow plants and feed animals.
Therefore
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,
this
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can enrich
people’
Change noun form
people’s
show examples
lives
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.
However
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, I believe the aim of
science
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is
also
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economic growth.
Science
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is one of the industries producing the most money and a country can earn a huge amount of money through exporting knowledge and products produced from
science
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.
Thus
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, governments tend to invest in
science
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industries in order to grow their economy.
Additionally
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, the aim of
science
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is to solve various mysteries and problems existing in today’s society. Especially, scientists tend to be enthusiastic about finding something new and exploring what is unknown to anyone. In conclusion,
while
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improving people’s
lives
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is the most crucial aim of
science
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, promoting economic growth and resolving mysteries are
also
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significant aims of
science
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.
Submitted by mr.kankan70717 on

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coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of supporting your main points with more specific examples.
task achievement
While your essay provides a response to the prompt, you could have expanded further on the importance of science in improving people's lives. Additionally, more emphasis could be placed on addressing the opposite viewpoint.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary and lexical resource is generally effective. To further enhance your lexical range, consider incorporating more varied vocabulary and expressions related to the topic.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is largely accurate, with only a few errors. Pay attention to verb tenses and sentence structures to further improve your grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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