It is clear that the number of males who prefer to have scientific education is much higher in comparison with the females who choose similar study. There are two main reasons of dominating man on this field and two appropriate decisions which eliminate this gap between boys and girls

#males #education #comparison #females #study #two #man #field #decisions #gap #boys #girls

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It is clear that

Linking Words

the number of males who prefer to have

scientific

Correct article usage

a scientific

show examples

education is much higher in comparison with the females who choose similar

Use synonyms

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

. There are two main reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

dominating

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

field and two appropriate decisions which eliminate

this

Linking Words

gap between boys and

girls

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, society in many countries

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

girls

Use synonyms

to choose

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

traditional way of life to be the best wife and mother rather than to build a career.

In other words

Linking Words

, the easiest and

Rephrase

most

show examples

predictable way of life for

girls

Use synonyms

doesn’t belong to the scientific world. On top of that,

for example

Linking Words

just

Rephrase

apply

show examples

simple statistic says that

possibility

Correct article usage

the possibility

show examples

for

regular

Correct article usage

a regular

show examples

women

Fix the agreement mistake

woman

show examples

to be a successful mammy is much more realistic than to be a notable scientist.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there are

huge

Change the article

a huge

the huge

show examples

number of stereotypes about females’ inability to the precise subjects as math or physics.

Therefore

Linking Words

, pavement to the research career is much harder for

girls

Use synonyms

than for boys.

Due to

Linking Words

all

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

reasons

Add a comma

reasons,

show examples

majority of women reject any opportunity to

study

Use synonyms

science. There are two main solutions

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue. First of all, families don’t need to support the idea that science is only for males. Obviously, if a girl shows interest

Change preposition

show examples

some

scrutinize

Wrong verb form

scrutinised

show examples

activity it must be stimulated by

parents

Correct pronoun usage

her parents

show examples

and school.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the tradition

to make

Change preposition

of making

show examples

gender presents

likewise

Linking Words

dolls for

girls

Use synonyms

and chemistry for boys must be eliminated. Clearly,

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

all of us have

came

Change the form of the verb

come

show examples

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

childhood and the parenting determines future of people.

Consequently

Linking Words

, the

study

Use synonyms

changes will bring

girls

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

consciousness

Replace the word

conscious

show examples

choice of profession and the scientific job can be represented among them widely.

To sum up

Linking Words

, stereotypes and traditional parenting based on the

famer

Correct your spelling

former

human experience block the opportunities for

girls

Use synonyms

to be scientists.

That

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

reasons can

be overcame

Change the verb form

be overcome

show examples

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

study

Use synonyms

and correct relation to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

professions.

Submitted by tarasovnn on Mon Nov 06 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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It is clear that the number of males who prefer to have scientific education is much higher in comparison with the females who choose similar study. There are two main reasons of dominating man on this field and two appropriate decisions which eliminate this gap between boys and girls

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the cause of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important

Some individuals say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.